Time for Phone Sex

Well, here we are again—the unofficial end of summer. I’m a little sad to see it go, but I definitely made the most of it this year. After being cooped up during those long COVID lockdowns, I made up for lost time with plenty of traveling. I took my traditional beach vacation (already booked next year’s too—yes, I’m that excited), plus I joined my family for our annual beach trip. On top of that, I managed to sneak away to the shore more than usual this summer. The beach is my happy place, hands down.

Here’s the funny part: I don’t tan. At all. It’s not that I avoid the sun—it just seems to avoid me. No matter how long I stay out, my skin refuses to change color. I’ve skipped sunscreen, tried tanning beds, even tested the “let’s see if I burn” method, and all I get is a slight pink glow that’s gone the next day. Friends joke that I deflect sunlight, and if they sit next to me, they’ll tan twice as fast. Honestly, it feels true. My dermatologist, however, says I’m his favorite patient, so I’ll take that as a win.

Meanwhile, one of my girlfriends is a total sun worshipper, and unfortunately, her skin shows it now. It makes me secretly grateful for my stubbornly fair complexion.

Beyond the beach, I also enjoyed weekend getaways at my family’s lake house about 90 minutes away. All in all, it was a wonderful summer, and I hope yours was too.

Now, though, I’m turning my attention to my favorite season: autumn—and of course, my all-time favorite holiday, Halloween. Sure, I’ll miss the sundresses, but bulky sweaters, crisp air, and long drives surrounded by fall colors have their own magic. Someone once told me autumn feels depressing because everything is dying, but I’ve never seen it that way. To me, autumn is change, and change is beautiful.

Plus, autumn is when I get back to taking more phone sex calls. Summer may be for beaches, but fall is for indoor fun. Bring on the hot apple cider… and a little solo play to warm things up.