Dirty Girlfriends get Sticky

Humans are the only animal who can have sex over the phone. – David Letterman

I have this girlfriend and for her privacy, I’m going to call her “asswipe”…. hehe mainly because that’s what we call one another the minute we can catch the other doing something “ditzy”. You know I have always gotten along best with chicks that form better bonds with men over other girls. Rarely do I have a lot of girlfriends at once, never did, I always got along better with guys.

Now mind you, I am feminine… I am not a bully type of personality chick that people look at and wonder if I am a lesbian. You know the stereotype right? (joke) No, I am very feminine; however, my personality is a bit blunter, and often times other girls can’t handle the things I say. I am not one of those girls that tell her friend she looks great in blue if she looks like hell in it. Of if her boyfriend sucks then I say it. Girls hate that! I can’t help it! But it’s cool because I expect to be told the truth back.

So “asswipe” and I have this great friendship because she is a lot like me, never really enjoying the company of other females much. We’re not into talking about weddings, baby showers, and keeping up with the neighbors. In fact, we laugh a hell of a lot and I think it’s because we just have a more crude sense of humor.

“Asswipe” actually doesn’t live near me boohoo… but we are planning this visit where she is going to come for a week and stay at my place early this summer. I am so looking forward to it because the weather is finally getting better around here to where you can take advantage of outdoor activities. I am not talking about planting flowers (like typical girls might) … I am talking about field parties with loads of drinking hehe.

I keep trying to talk “asswipe” into doing some calls with me. She’s remaining shy about it at this point, but I am going to keep up the pressure. (I hope she is not reading this and discovering my plot). If I can convince her… there could be lots of personal benefits involved….. all of them kinda lesbian-ish.

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