My Personality
I’m going to charm the pants right off of you. Some guys say I am the Princess of Seduction. Some guys say I am a hot little minx.

I masturbate; therefore I am. I touch myself, because I can. If you sound sexy, if you are sweet to me, then I will want to cum with you.

I’m always told I am the girl next door. But there is so much more to me than that. My mind and speech are slow and gradual. Before you know it - you will be lost in my wicked web of lust. My feminine hiss will run through your mind… days later, even when you try to block it out. A phone sex call with me is not some High School play or performance. It’s an indulgence in adult delights.

I promise you I know how to be feminine. I will bring out your natural male urges, so intensely that you will feel my softness beside you. I’m down to earth and I always share myself with you. I’m business minded, intelligent, open, and our phone call together will be extremely intimate.

Let’s try to be more meaningful than: “uh so what do you like” when we talk. Let’s probe our minds deeply. Let’s share some real experiences we’ve had in a blatantly honest environment. Our phone call will be exactly as WE MAKE IT to be. So let’s make it personal and real.

Ever wonder how many times in one day that I cum? Call me and I will tell you!

Hey! For something different I thought I might post some things you may not have known about me. Ok so this is boring mundane crap… but also just who I am! Yes, I am really boring and mundane in my regular life sometimes. I don’t live the life of a sex goddess damn it. I have to make some changes I guess

I am a huge Howard Stern fan, I listen everyday and am a superfan.
I’m an animal lover, I volunteer my time and money to donate to shelters.
I am a purse addict. I buy a new purse for every season, and they are all black.
I am a Star Wars geek, and I beat everyone at any Trivia game on it.
I love odd and unusual collectibles, and I have many weird collections.
I am not squeamish, and I like scary movies.
My favorite place to be is the beach.
I love pizza and beer.
I drive an SUV and I like to drive too fast.
I do yoga daily both in the morning and at night.
My favorite season is Autumn.
My favorite holiday is Halloween and I love to dress up for it.
I like Guy Movies better then Chick Flicks.
I hate it when a guy sends me flowers.
I would make a crappy housewife because I hate to clean.
My favorite meal of the day is breakfast.
I love Italian Food and my favorite is Gnocci.
My perfect date is … dinner, movie, drinks, and sex. In that order.
I am attracted to a man’s hands.
I have an extensive education and a vast amount of common sense.
It’s difficult for anyone to lie to me without me catching them.
I have a cynical side and my trust is earned.
I have a warped and twisted sense of humor.
I find humor in many inappropriate things and laugh at things that make others cringe.
I am witty and sarcastic but always in a fun way.
I often say what I think bluntly, and some people do not appreciate it.
I have a very deep fear of drowning.
I dislike people who are “too nice and sugary” because I find it to be very false.
I’m laid back and rarely “seek” to be the center of attention.
I am confidant without arrogance.
It is hard for me to accept compliments or gifts.
I have a shy side in large groups of people.
I really hate crowds, I will deal with it but get impatient.
I swear like a drunken sailor and love to find new ways to curse.
I am gentle and very sweet.
I have a well rounded education and am well traveled.
I was once told that I have a very high degree of ethics and character.
I flirt with everyone, even women or grandmothers.
I keep my friends for years and years.
I love phone sex and love what I do!

Join the PhoneFlirts Newsletter! Lynnea will send out updates, or occasional info that you’ll want to know!

I stumbled across this link from some forum and thought it was pretty cute! It’s just one of those freebies on the internet that can make you smile. I am wondering if it can give you a stiffy though. So click on the banner and listen to a sexy voice moan out your computer’s IP address.
Enjoy

Well it’s that time of year again, when the weather warms up… the sun comes out… and much less clothing is worn! It’s also time to plan my usual beach vacation! This year I have rented an immaculate house that is directly on the beach and includes a hot tub. I have spent an obscene amount of money on it. Business has been pretty good – what can I say?

I am now ready for the shopping excursion to get all new clothes for it. I am bikini obsessed and like to have at least 7 at all times so I have a different one for each day. Each summer I purchase a new one, and retire one. This year I’m retiring a cute little purple one and I’ll try to replace it this weekend.

I love the way a bikini feels against my skin, and more importantly I love the attention I get from it. In real life I am somewhat normal – if you can believe that! I am not mega-slut for real, just on the internet lol. But I do love to see men inappropriately watching me when I am in my bikini. Wearing a bikini is almost like being naked in public and that appeals to my personal fantasy.

I always had what I have called my slight exhibitionist desire. I like the idea of sex in public and being watched, or being seen naked etc. Wearing a bikini is close to it, without breaking a law lol. In some ways I like the tease of it even more then full exposure. I can remember laying out in the sun on the beach about 2 years ago and some couple I didn’t know were nearby. The angle at which they were sitting allowed the husband (or boyfriend, whatever he was) to have a clear shot of my bikini crotch if I dared to open my legs. I’m sure you can guess that I did. I had to see if he noticed, and once I knew he noticed I didn’t do it again. I liked the idea of giving him a “little” and then taking it away.

Maybe this year I will “accidentally” flash some nipple slip to some poor unsuspecting husband. In any case… I cannot wait to get into my bikini, on the beach, and be a tease. Life is hard when your main focus is men. Poor poor me.

Humans are the only animal who can have sex over the phone. - David Letterman

I have this girlfriend and for her privacy I’m going to call her “asswipe”…. hehe mainly because that’s what we call one another the minute we can catch the other doing something “ditzy”. You know I have always gotten along best with chicks that form better bonds with men over other girls. Rarely do I have a lot of girlfriends at once, never did, I always got along better with guys.

Now mind you, I am feminine… I am not a bully type of personality chick that people look at and wonder if I am a lesbian. You know the stereotype right? (joke) No, I am very feminine; however, my personality is more blunt, and often times other girls can’t handle the things I say. I am not one of those girls that tells her friend she looks great in blue if she looks like hell in it. Of if her boyfriend sucks then I say it. Girls hate that! I can’t help it! But it’s cool because I expect to be told the truth back.

So “asswipe” and I have this great friendship because she is a lot like me, never really enjoying the company of other females much. We’re not into talking about weddings, baby showers, and keeping up with the neighbors. In fact we laugh a hell of a lot and I think it’s because we just have a more crude sense of humor.

“Asswipe” actually doesn’t live near me boohoo… but we are planning this visit where she is going to come for a week and stay at my place early this summer. I am so looking forward to it because the weather is finally getting better around here to where you can take advantage of outdoor activities. I am not talking about planting flowers (like typical girls might) … I am talking about field parties with loads of drinking hehe.

I keep trying to talk “asswipe” into doing some calls with me. She’s remaining shy about it at this point, but I am going to keep up the pressure. (I hope she is not reading this and discovering my plot). If I can convince her… there could be lots of personal benefits involved….. all of them kinda lesbian-ish.

Hello you horny boys! I’ve been working my behind off a lot lately! I’m actually expanding the service… growing things and adding lots of new operators. I will eventually have girls for everyone’s “taste”. Right now I am so busy hiring them and training… that it doesn’t leave much time for me. But that won’t last long hehe. If you’d like to check out the ones I have recently added… go to this link Phone Sex Girls

I hope everyone faired well with their taxes! I am an early bird and have mine always done by Feb 15th. My accountant loves me and told me I am the MOST organized client he has… he suggested I teach a course in it lol. I wonder if he was just flirting with me.

On to the dirty parts! One of my cute shy guys called me bright and early this morning. I do love the shy ones! We talk a little, tease a little, flirt a lot… and then we get comfortable. For those of you reading this who didn’t know… comfortable means NAKED. He is usually so shy it’s almost like he is afraid to say something dirty before I do. I guess I don’t mind, it just allows me to take the reins then and lead him into dark moist places…namely mine. I adore his sounds… so quiet yet breathy. It’s a huge turn on for me to hear how different men sound when they masturbate.

I’m a thinker, a studier. And everything I do in life is very deliberate. I don’t make impulsive decisions, I don’t make foolish choices because I mentally plan my actions out carefully weighing all the options. This includes sex too.

Sure impulsive animalist raw power banging is awesome. I love it like that sometimes. But I normally prefer something slow, intentional, long, drawn out, and going to the brink of no return without fully ending things. I like a sex session to take a while. I like phone sex where we communicate, and ease into each stroke with a building intensity. I am a pleasure seeker… in all ways.

My shy morning guy and me did it slow today. Sometimes we do not have to say much for a few minutes. His breathing works on me the same way mine must be working on him. The sounds of masturbation can seem so… well, dirty. It must be because no one is supposed to HEAR them. I dunno, I just know it’s exciting to me. Hearing soft little wimpers, heavy hard breaths, tiny little gasps…. gets my juices flowing. During my call today we let it build up with just our sounds, we speak and it releases a little, and then we go right back to the breathy build up. Nothing like a fresh morning orgasm to start the day off right!

It’s crazy isn’t it? Writing a diary entry can be relieving, it can make me organize my thoughts better…. And it can totally turn me on too.

So my boyfriend and I will be celebrating our little anniversary this weekend. Its 2 years and counting. We have a nice solid mature relationship. I can count the arguments we’ve had and he’s never so much as raised his voice to me. We’ve got a lot in common. He’s great to me, I am the perfect little minx at home and the proper lady in front if friends. I’d say I was a lady in public… however, that’s not always true.

Take this past Saturday night for example; Saturday my man was busy with his work so I rang up the gal pal to hit up our favorite little drinking spot. I didn’t have to twist her arm… her hubby was on her nerves because he’s a lot more conservative than she is. She accepted my invitation with excitement. When we get together… there is trouble. Or at least usually Karaoke. Anyway….

I picked her up in my car and we drove to our place. Fixed our lipstick, got our drinks. My little admirer was there of course, a 21 year old college boy with great eyes and a perfect smile. He’s so damn cute and shy – just the way I like ‘em… which means he is corruptible. We’ve had this on going flirtation for quite awhile now and he is still too shy to blatantly hit on me. That’s cool, I’m a taken woman (I keep reminding myself) and I love a good tease. So that’s what I do… flirt and tease…. And almost dare him to make a move.

Did you ever drink Kamakazies? Oh my goodness they do go down smooth and easy. I like to drink, but I am not good at it and don’t do it often enough to have a good tolerance. Now my girlfriend on the other hand may have the goal of becoming a raging alcoholic… she can drink any guy under the table. In other words… soon we were dancing, singing loudly, falling over the place. You get the picture right?

Lucky for me I have my little admirer; he tries to keep me in line by being very protective. I think I freak him out a little because he is so shy. He was chasing me all over the place cleaning up the mess I kept making by spilling my drinks everywhere. Eventually it was time to slow it down, chill out, and sober up to drive home later.

I was a good girl yet again damn it. This guy is so sweet; I know I could take him home one night and totally do obscene things to him. He’s younger than me and I have this fantasy of being the “older woman” teaching the young anxious virginal guy. Anyway he is always so disappointed when I leave the bar. He looks so cute, like a little puppy dog with sad eyes. He knows I am involved with someone, so he’s always well mannered and polite.

When I got home I was in the horny state from all my flirtations and adding alcohol to my system just brings out my natural animal. I fucked my man silly and thought about my boy toy left at the bar who was probably home by now jerking off and thinking about me. At least that’s my hope. Maybe I’ll ask him next time I see him.

Two weeks ago I got a new outfit. I got it at Victoria’s Secret, and yes they sell more than just lingerie. I got a cute form fitted sweater with a v-neck that criss crosses. It’s ALMOST off my shoulders and the color is passion pink lol. I got a pair of stretchy tight fitting jeans that sit low on my waist.

I did all this for New Years Eve – a time in which I intend to party my little heiny off. I will go out with some of my very best friends to drink shitloads of beer and shake my booty. I am a beer girl through and through…I do like Vodka but I don’t drink those foofoo sissy girlie drinks with umbrellas or fruit. I don’t drink often anymore, but when I do I pretty much wanna get wasted.

I’m a conservative type of person in general until you really get to know me. Maybe reserved is a better choice of words. But once you get to know me my wit comes across much clearer and so forth. I’m very ladylike I guess and well mannered in public for instance. But when I drink – I tend to totally drop my guard.

My best girlfriend and I drink alike. Does that make sense? Let me explain better. We grew up together, we learned to drink together, to sneak out of the house, and all the naughty things you do in school. We drink at the same identical pace. We have about the same tolerance level, and we get silly together at the exact same time. We also compete… who can be MORE obnoxious etc once we’ve hit the perfect buzz. We were very popular at frat parties or in bars a few years back. We’ve both settled down a wee bit… but every new years eve we get crazy again.

So all you perverts and casual surfers think of me tomorrow night about 11:45pm having to be picked up off the floor. I intend to party down. Don’t worry I won’t be driving! So you have a safe and Happy New Year too!!!!

My boyfriend was over last week one day and I was having some work done by a designer which he became aware of. (she did a great job on my blog didn’t she?) I don’t share much about the day to day work stuff with my boyfriend, and honestly he doesn’t care a whole lot about advertising, marketing, and web design.

He asked me if I ever write about him, and I said no I really didn’t. He told me that I should. I asked him, “Well honey what should I write”? He said very arrogantly that I should post about what a stud puppet he is.

It’s true I guess… he IS my little stud puppet. I like to put him to work a lot… men are supposed to do a lot of work you know. But the job is always my body. This past Sunday (yesterday) we decided to stay in bed pretty much all day for sex. We don’t see each other much during the week so we have lots of fucking to squeeze into the weekends. Saturday was some holiday thing we had to do, and that means we were not at my place banging that night. We saved it up for Sunday then.

Did you ever try to do that? Just stay in bed all day and fuck? I mean, basically you do have to get up to use the bathroom, and sometimes it’s because there is some cum stuck in your hair etc. You also do need to eat as well because good sex makes you hungry. And of course you must replenish fluids frequently. But the rest of your time is spent on sex. Sure, you do end up red and raw… but do you REALLY mind that? I don’t.

I am proud to share that my stud puppet was able to get his dong stiff 11 times yesterday. We did it predominately in bed, once on the floor. As you can see… it is true he is a stud. Now he can be happy when I tell him I posted about him.

Here is an example of an email I got today!

Yesterday, I found your story about the public cock tease, and I can’t get it out of my mind. Your love for breaking hearts and making a man ache is absolutely intoxicating. It’s so rare to find a woman who knows how to use her femininity softly, gently, as a devastating weapon. I have to call you soon! your new fan “J”

Is my head swelling? My ego is getting HUGE. What a nice compliment and I don’t know if I could describe myself in such a good way! But the important thing is that this guy GETS IT. And furthermore he appreciates it…. I love it when that happens!

Speaking of teasing I have this new little fan in my real life too. Now first let me say I HAVE a boyfriend and I really try to be a good girl. But I dunno sometimes it gets difficult.

I have a local bar I hang out in, meet my girlfriend at, have a few drinks etc. It’s not your typical “club” type of thang, though I have one of those too. This is a place you go to when you don’t want live or loud music (and I like those places too). This is a little bar, the place where you know a bunch of people etc. And I’ve been going there for a few years.

I also need to explain that my best girl friend and me go here to do serious drinking and we don’t do that as much as we did a few years back. When her and I get together we get wild, but when you add alcohol things can get down right raunchy. We’re troublemakers and I have no excuses.

Lately there have been some new crowds coming to our little bar hang out. A group of 4 guys all about 21 and they go to a local college. So they are younger by a few years and we paid very little attention to them until……

One guy from that group, the shy one…… started to bullshit with me. He was very cute, well mannered, and nice. I, on the other hand, was drunk, loud, and obnoxious that night. I think I gave him an education in foul language and even part of an anatomy lesson when I climbed on the pool table in my miniskirt. Ooops.

To make a long story short, (which I suck at) this sweet shy 21 year old has become smitten with me. I’ve seen him a few more times, he is cautiously hitting on me and kindly flirting. I haven’t paid for a drink in 3 weeks. I have his full attention all night long. Me? What do you think… come on. I’m egging it on and you aren’t really shocked. I can tell I have him horny as a dog too. It’s wrong it’s wrong I know it. I don’t really have any intentions of cheating on my boyfriend. But the little devil on my shoulder keeps whispering…. “Lynn… you also need the boy toy”. Why won’t that damn devil shut up?

He is just such a cutie pie and I look at his sweet but innocent smile and think to myself, “gawd his face would look cuter between my legs”. Then I chug down a quick shot to clear my dirty mind.

What can I do? And it’s almost the weekend. I hope I can behave.

Kisses,
Lynnea

Phone Sex with Lynnea

I spoke to a caller this week that told me his credit card information was compromised. I have personally used multiple credit cards online for years and have never had my info compromised, but I am also pretty cautious. I’m very internet savvy so I gave him a few tips, and thought I may as well post them here too.

Firstly, your credit card information can leak out from ANY purchase you make. That means even at the local shopping mall. Ask retailers to tear up carbon copies of your charge slips…. often they are tossed into the trash and a good criminal knows that.

A huge portion of credit card fraud or theft takes place due to using your card for online purchases. So, secondly, make sure that any services you use, or places that you make a purchase are places that can be trusted. Try to stick with companies that you have heard of, that advertise, or that you know are reputable. Review a website carefully, if it doesn’t seem professional for any reason then take pause before you hand over all your details. Trust your instincts.

Thirdly, keep track of your receipts and review your credit card statements every month at the very least. Jot down purchases you make when you do not have a receipt.

Lastly, if you are joining an adult membership website then read things closely. Pay attention to see if charges will reoccur each month etc. Also take note of contact info to the owner of the site. You may need it in the future should there be a problem.

And now my tips for guys that use their credit cards when calling a phone sex service such as mine.

READ over the website CAREFULLY do not skim. Look for billing explanations. Look for contact info. Look for a professional attitude. Ok we all know it’s the photos or the phone number you want the most when surfing a phone sex site…. but you should READ them too. You should know how things are done, and who you are doing business with.

When you call a new phone sex service… ask what information is needed from you and what it is used for. Then asked who else sees your info and how it is stored. If the operator has difficulty explaining the answers or the billing procedure, or sounds a bit ditzy about it, then please think twice. The bottom line is this, and pardons my bluntness….. If someone can’t explain those answers then it is unlikely they will be able to protect your information. Phone Sex is dirty, kinky, naughty, and fun; but there is a professional business side that also needs to be handled intelligently.

Find out HOW it appears on your billing statement. Make a clear mental note or write it down so you don’t stroke your wiener and forget it later.

Make sure your information is NOT emailed to anyone, including owners, partners or etc. Having inside knowledge of the phone sex industry… I know that many small services still do those things and there are better ways to handle it. Emailing any consumer info should be a total no-no to any decently run business.

If your info is stored in a database then find out if it an online one, or on a computer. Both can be a risk. For instance I store info for my callers in a database. I do not use Microsoft products for it, I encrypt it, I password protected it several times over, and it is not stored on a computer that is connected to the internet. I go very far to protect my callers information. Should my computer get hacked then so be it…. there is nothing on it worthy to get.

There are many good phone sex services out there, and 90% are truly honest and cautious with your billing information. But being safe for you, as a customer should be of high importance. Don’t ever take for granted that the people you give your info to will protect it as well as YOU would. Ask questions and be informed!

Kisses,
Lynnea

Amateur Phone Sex with Lynnea

Do you like porn? Yeah me too. What? I knew you’d say yes ya pervert. For me, porn is supposed to turn me on. As a female I want some sexy teases, to see the actors undress, and then go for the hardcore. I want a little of the working into it. Don’t bother to give me a plot, they only come out stupid. Sometimes the compilation style porn is better because they drop the horrendous dialogue and jump into sex scenes instead. However, if you attempt to give me a plot then it should be interesting. I think most of us know that it rarely occurs… but a good example of smut with plot may be my post of my favorite porn movie Cafe Flesh.

The other thing for me and porn…. I prefer amateur style stuff. I can enjoy the other stuff too, but I’d rather watch people who aren’t perfect looking. Amateur babes without big fake looking boobs is just plain hotter to me. I like real looking people with some flaws and then I like to watch them fuck. Let me see a teensy bit of seduction and undressing then get at it. I like to watch undressing…. I dunno why, I just do.

One of the things about porn that most people have to agree about but rarely discuss is the “joke” to it. I think any porn fan has to admit to it, we have all sometimes rented DVDs to laugh at more than to get turned on by. Oh, believe me, I am not saying the movie won’t end up turning you on too, but sometimes we rent them due to the humorous titles.

Sometimes the titles are so hilarious, that it just wants to make you see it. Or perhaps I am the only chick in the world that has such a warped sense of humor? Nooo I CAN’T be the only one. I had to present you with my current favorite titles and see if you think they are as hilarious as I do. I put them into my rental queue; I have to see them.

Poop Chute Pumpers and Shit Hole Lickers
Bust a Nut in Grandma’s Butt
Soft Taco with Sour Cream
My Ass is Haunted

If you have seen them you have to contact me and tell me how you liked them. I can’t decide which to rent first!

Kisses,
Lynnea

Amateur Phone Sex with Lynnea

This is going to be a boring post for something that expects me to shock them with lurid sex tales from a trampy phone sex operator. Today I was thinking about passion.

See when I was in high school I had that typical “sweetheart” relationship. I’m normal what can I say? We were sooo in love and could spend hours just kissing. We kissed in the backseat of our friend’s car, we kissed until our jaws were sore. We got detention multiple times for tonsil hockey sports in the halls.

I went to a large school too; I had a large graduating class so there were many kids that you just never even knew. To this day I can meet someone….. a guy, a girl, and just have casual conversation that causes us to discover we graduated together. And the next comment is always “Oh I know who you are.. you dated Blankity Blank because I always say you two sucking face in the hall”. I have to laugh about it now, but we were very hot for each other and we had passion.

In general I am a passionate person. I feel things deeply, I defend what I believe in passionately, and yes I still love to kiss with passion. Kissing is such a sensual act and there are so many ways to do it that can set the tone and mood for sex. A soft wet tongue tickling mine, swirling in my mouth, flicking around…… it’s literally delicious.

Kissing is a prelude to fucking and it tells you a lot about how the other person is going to fuck. Sloppy and aggressive? Or Juicy and soft? I’ll have both please with a side order of hard and deep. Can I have some passion sprinkled on that order too?

Well all this talk about passionate kisses has me feeling a little too frisky. Better stop while I can still contain my urges for the next unsuspecting caller.

Kisses,
Lynnea

Amateur Phone Sex with Lynnea

Hello to my fellow Star Wars geeks. I have to publicly say that I got tons of email after my last post about the movie. Ok so it seems there are many horny SW geeks that enjoyed my brief comments and they all wanted to chat lol. Let me state for the record that I saw the film twice within that first weekend and I will probably see it a third on the big screen. The DVD will play weekly for awhile on my surround sound system. It’s awesome.

One of the reasons it was awesome was due to a very short 60 second scene involving one of the lead characters. His name is Hayden Christensen and he plays Anakin. For a whole 30-60 seconds I got to see him with his shirt off and he is now a man for sure with that chest. Hummmmm I got a little sweaty in the theatre witnessing that beauty. I decided to add him to my celebrity TO DO LIST.

See, I have this list of Hollywood hunks… mainly just actors that I find totally hot and I want TO DO. Yes, I mean I want to do it to them, I want to fuck them all senseless. I’ve just added innocent young Hayden whom I intend to do unspeakable things to in my fantasy. I would do things with him that would cause him to never look his own mother straight in the eyes again out of shame. Hehe. I am sweating again right now.

If you are intrigued about my TO DO LIST, I’ve been considering putting the whole list on the site just for fun. Then if Hayden or anyone else on it should see… they can call me to make arrangements. Hey, a girl has to dream….. and fantasize a lot to be in the phone sex business right?

It’s true; I annoy my boyfriend with this list. It’s always growing and he rolls his eyes at me. I can’t help being so perverted that I am incapable of watching pretty much any Movie or Television show without finding some guy in it to be fuck-able. It’s a cross I must bear and a soaked pair of panties I must wear.

Oh and Hayden, call me as soon as you see this.

Well this week the new Star Wars comes out and yes, I’ll be there. I’ve been counting down the days… hell I’ve been counting down the last 3 years actually. You see it’s true and I have to admit to it. I am a total Star Wars geek. I love the films, I collect some of the toys, I know all trivia, and I have seen each film hundreds of times. I am the only chick I know that’s such a fan and I am hoping it means I’m just cooler than most girls lol. I don’t know why or even how I became such a huge fan… maybe it’s the fact that Darth Vader resembles my vibrator? I do have this long black smooth one that I like quite a bit. Or maybe it’s these young hot men dueling with big light sabers that gets me going. Maybe it’s just the adventure and the excitement. Whatever it is I know I will be there on Thursday with a big bag of popcorn ready to be entertained.

Kisses,
Lynnea

Amateur Phone Sex with Lynnea

I like porn, so I like watching porn dvd’s and so forth. I just rented this wicked old film recently and found it to be something a bit different than your typical stuff. I thought I’d offer a little word of mouth advertising for it.

Cafe Flesh
The movie is dated roughly 1982 or so. The plot is that a nuclear apocalypse has hit the world and people become categorized into two different groups: The Sex Negatives and The Sex Positives.

The Sex Positives are actually the minority and they are forced to perform on stage live sex acts for all the Sex Negatives to watch them in complete frustration. The lead characters are a married couple that are Sex Negative… or so we think. But one of them is lying and debating whether nor not to admit to the truth.

The main themes involved in the story are frustration, betrayal, control, and inadequacy. All of the sex scenes are fairly brief and to the point while done with real looking people rather than perfect looking actors. It even contains some musical and dream like sequences.

This is a XXX feature but someone told me that you can also get an R Rated version that played to mainstream audiences back in the day. I’m not certain that is accurate info though. Of course I would recommend the XXX version… though it’s still not quite as hardcore as most other porn videos are. What made this film so cool to me was that it had a storyline beyond the pornography, and yet it’s a story that couldn’t be told in any other way. It made you THINK.

Sure it’s like any other tacky old 80’s movie, supposedly futuristic in a hilarious kind of way… but it’s also extremely artistic and creative. I don’t see it as the type of porn that’s going to turn you on to the point of masturbation because you’ll actually end up interested in the plot. How often can you say that about a dirty movie? You’ll want to watch it the whole way through in one sitting…. to absorb it.

I love the taste of a man’s cum. I always swallow sperm what can I say. Of course I am in a committed relationship and yes that does make a difference. I wanted to share a few reasons why I swallow cum, and why I like it.

1. It’s neater than spooging on a tissue or having to wipe it up!
2. It lets my man relax and just release without thinking or any worries.
3. It shows my man I totally accept him in every way.
4. There are no calories in a man’s spunk.
5. My boyfriends cum is sweet tasting probably due to his healthy lifestyle.
6. My boyfriend is a deep shooter; spraying it normally down my throat anyway… which means it’s very little effort for me to chug it down.

I actually read website that teach you all these different techniques to avoid the taste of cum. But I don’t mind it at all and really never did. I can only think of one sexual partner I had that had some bitter semen. Besides I think sex is about all of our senses.. that means I want to TASTE him as well. Plus the biggest reason of all to swallow my man’s load is because he likes it. I think sex is about pleasing your partner.. and I love it when he is happy because he reciprocates it by licking my pussy until I am happy too

Ah the beach… I just returned from a week long excursion. Oh yes it was worth it. My boyfriend and I rented a beach house…. you just leer out the window and see the waves. I got a light golden tan, and the wind through my hair was excellent!

Of course this blog is really about sex… so let’s get to it! I had to experience sex on the beach for the first time. I was warned by many – that sand gets everywhere and obviously that’s common sense too. But I’ve got a few tips for those who want to do it like I did.

Find a private area. I also suggest the night time since less people will obviously be there. Under a pier is perfect. On my trip… we had our own private pier. Something to this effect is best since you know that no one else is using it, there is plenty of space, and it’s quiet.

Take multiple blankets! It’s not enough to just lay ONE down in the sand… you need a few BIG king sized blankets overlapping and making a huge wide area. Save one to cover up with unless you prefer to be arrested for public nudity.

Definitely get some type of WIPES that are not irritating to your nasty bits. You will probably need to use them several times before, during, and after sex. Keep sand out of the pussy and away from your asshole please…. it is extremely irritating to sensitive parts!

Take a big jug of water. You will get thirty, you may need to rinse some sand away, or even wash sand from your mouth as you are busy sucking and licking body parts that may have some sand. Trust me sand on your tongue is not as yummy as my girl juice is.

Take a normal shower after as soon as humanly possible too. Yes, there will still be sand in places you can’t imagine.

The missionary position is probably best – but mainly you need to think ahead and plan on being in one sex position the whole time. Switching positions only cause you to rumple up the blankets and sand.

Did I like fucking on the beach? Well “hell yeah”! Sex just about anywhere is always good hehe. It’s more of a romantic action rather than a “kinky” one because you must use more caution due to the sand. But I highly suggest it, at least once.

Vibrators are much like cars in that every now and then — you must upgrade.

It is very possible to know someone’s personality from the car they drive … or in how they take care of it. I think the same is true for girls … you can tell a lot about them from the type of vibrator they use. Every girl has one, likes them, or wants one secretly. And if not, well we’re talking about a babe who is as cold as a refrigerator.

A vibrator is almost a girl’s best friend and if it’s not then it should be. Some girls like ‘em big, some girls like ‘em small, but all girls like them with multiple settings! I personally like the softee type since I am not as excited by shoving a hard cold plastic dick into my pussy! I like and prefer the real thing or to get a toy as close the real thing as possible. I’m not a pocket rocket girl - I want it big.

So off to the adult store we went! My best friend and me that is … we did a little shopping this week! And we do like to waltz in there wearing something sexy. It’s always fun because we are not the least bit shy — we get loud talking and laughing while comparing vibrators. The adult store we like is a SUPERSIZED adult store and its always busy. It’s where strippers can go to buy their outfits and you can even get some lingerie. Both the silky type and the edible type! The clerk knows us well.

As always our adult store adventures are to make sure that we grab a few new toys, but also we really are seeking attention from horny men. My friend is really the more embarrassing one waving and saying hello to every guy in there! She likes to make them blush, bump into them with her boobs, and then laughs real loud. I can only giggle the whole time and keep instigating her to do it again!