I have a busy life lately damnit. Sometimes it’s just way too busy for my own good, but you probably know how that goes. It’s time to break out, misbehave, and get extremely intoxicated. OMG did I say that? Yes, yes I guess I did. Ok by now those of you regularly reading this know I may be cute, but I am not innocent. Those of you who are new to my blog/life… well, get with the damn program.

I admit it. I am a party girl by nature. I was born that way. I always did my work, but I was also always looking for ways to be “bad” when I was a school girl. (I am a woman now ahem) and so I guess I’ve never totally grown up. I refuse to in a way; I just believe you MUST be naughty sometimes in life to remain a happy person.

I was happy this past weekend for sure, you might even call it “happy drunk”. I went out with a few of girls, a small group of us which I don’t do as often as I used anymore. It was SO good to do it; I wish we all had more time. Anyway there were 4 of us hanging out and let me review the scene. 4 drunken women who for the most part look respectable but are behaving like horny housewives at a male strip show. (and BTW only one of my friends is actually married and we were not at a male strip show).

Yes, we got wasted, loud, and totally obnoxious. It was a BLAST and I cannot wait until we get together again. My poor boyfriend doesn’t even want to know the details, and that is for the best. Ok I admit that I am not “cheater”… so the relationship is safe. But I am a chronic flirter that always looks for attention from men.

I talked to a new guy today from Florida and when I first start out on any call… I always ask a very specific phone sex question, it just helps me to really figure out the best way to approach a call. As stated all over my site… I try to tailor calls to each guy. Once I had that info… Mr. Florida proceeded to ask me to tell him a real sex story from my life.

Now, I don’t know why… but that always makes me pause. It’s not that I am shy… but without an idea of what someone is seeking I sort of feel like I am being put in front of the class and given a pop quiz. It’s takes me a second to pull it together. Maybe it’s some sort of self esteem thing, I dunno. Also I prefer to kind of know a theme that someone likes. In other words, my idea of a sexy story might not be the same as yours. In this case I picked one and began it just hoping it would work out.

There is a difference between telling a real story… and an “invented” stereotypical phone sex one. A true story needs a “set up”, it requires a few details on other players in it, and it also tends to make you speak in a very natural tone of voice and pattern of speech. In other words… I can’t tell the story in that monotone phone sex operator pace with exaggerated tones. Even some tidbits of a memory come at the wrong time, small pieces of details you should have mentioned earlier but neglected, and in a true story that just happens. A sex story doesn’t just jump to…. “yeah I was sucking off 10 men in the bathroom”… it has a progression to it.

As I am telling the story… the caller is totally quiet. This is a very common event, but also can be unnerving if you aren’t getting feedback that you are on the right track or turning him on. But as I said, it’s not uncommon and I just continued.

I barely got to the good part… when Mr. Florida announced he had cum. I was almost shocked (and rarely do I get shocked lol) He said he had never had another phone sex girl tell a story in such a way, so detailed that he could envision it in his mind. He also implied he liked the way it was a seduction rather than a bunch of nasty words being spewed in his ear. He said… and I QUOTE…. “you have made this an art form”.

His compliment was genuine and really made my day. I asked him if he had reviewed my whole site and he said yes. I told him to look for my little blog message about him today. So here it is Mr. Florida! Thank you for being such a nice and classy guy, you were a pleasure to speak with, and I hope you send me that photo we discussed.

Humans are the only animal who can have sex over the phone. - David Letterman

Phone Sex is an impulse purchase isn’t it? Basically… it happens after a good stiff bone pops up… and you come across a phone sex ad. Phone Sex isn’t really a hobby, therefore you aren’t putting a lot of research or effort or time into it. Phone Sex is not a commitment, a relationship, and it’s much easier/cheaper then a date. Ultimately you don’t really want to get all committed to something either. The point behind it is to grab your twinkie and beat it until the cream center explodes. Phone sex is like having a little company while you do it.

The Phone Flirts Philosophy on Phone Sex is that YOU… the caller is the one who defines what “erotic”, “dirty”, and “kinky” really means.

Target market: Working Class Men, Average Joe, Bargain Hunters, Perverts who Watch their Money, Semi-professionals and craftsman, Highly educated professionals & managers, blue collar workers, creative men, conversational guys, gentlemen who prefer something different.

What makes me different or special? Well besides the obvious CUTE factor… I listen to you. I absorb what you tell me and seek to understand you as an individual. I don’t put on an act or a show. I try to be myself. Some of the comments callers have said about me are that I am: sincere, natural, personable, sweet, sexy, and intelligent. And lastly, I am told daily that I have an incredibly sexy voice.

So the whole twitter thing is boring I think and I am going to stop posting messages from it on my blog. I just don’t have the time with calls and running the business to post all day I guess. Plus, I really feel it is kind of a lame thing, and I suspect that most people don’t really give a shit about it lol. I’ll still use it and you can read my tweet on the left side of the blog.

This past weekend I went out to the family lake house in the mountains. I spent some time with my brothers and we did some winterizing work there. We love the lake house, we have gone there since childhood and it’s a quick 2 hour drive from where we all live. There are lots of old memories there and we definitely slip back into our old behaviors. Both of my brothers are many years older than me, so yes I am the “baby” and everything that goes with it. I’m a little spoiled and fiercely protected by them. My family’s nickname for me is “Lollipop”. Obnoxious huh? We had gorgeous weather and a really nice time. This week will mark the official start of autumn and that is just as beautiful at the lake, however we won’t be doing any further boating past this point. I spend many weekends up there in the summer and occasional ones through autumn and spring.

So what’s new with you? As summer winds down… do ya feel horny more often? Or do you just jack off more because of being trapped in the house more? Be sure to call and tell me!

Ok first off I am a huge film fan, and I actually am not all that into the “mainstream” stuff. I’ve never seen “Titanic” (we all know how it ends duh) and I am annoyed at films that lack plot and have nothing but action to them. I do enjoy all kinds of film but it’s often independent stuff. I love a movie that can make you think.

I feel the same about porn too. Most porn is not artist let’s face it, there is a whole different point to it lol. But I gotta say I saw Behind the Green Door for the first time on PPV. It’s a really made film, good camera work, has a semi-plot, and it works well overall. Have you seen it? If not ya gotta check it out exclusively at this link: —-> Behind the Green Door

This is the description:

The revolutionary adult film that ushered in a new era of Porn Chic introduced America to the idea of sex as sophistication and erotic films as Art. Scandals ensued on Madison Avenue as the Mitchell brothers enlisted then unknown Ivory Snow girl Marilyn Chambers, for the film and appropriated their slogan, billing Chambers as “99 and 44/100 percent pure.”

Liner Notes:
Marilyn Chambers, the All-American Girl, who undeniably changed the face of the adult film industry stars in her classic, ground-breaking ingenue role. Brought to the screen by the innovative talents of the Mitchell Brothers, she takes you on a cinematic journey into the sublime.

I often get calls from guys who say things like “I decided to call you because you seem real” yet some of these guys have never looked at my photos. I think my personality comes through as genuine even in my writing. Cool, that’s a compliment.

Still other times I get calls from guys who say “I really want to masturbate with a girl, but most phone sex operators don’t”. They often tell me that they believe I do. This was the exact conversation I had with a guy just a few minutes ago. Cool, cause I do.

Yes, I DO masturbate on calls, but keep in mind that not all guys even care. Some callers are into their fetish or have a roleplay in mind already. (Please note: doing a roleplay makes it difficult for the girl to masturbate if you like both.) I get to know my callers and I know who I can, and cannot cum with. Both are fine by me, and each type are still enjoyable calls for me.

So today a new guy called, and he was into the mutual masturbation idea, and understood my site. He also said I was extremely cute and that he loved my voice… and compliments get you everywhere with me.

It just so happens that prior to his call I was starting my yoga routine. I practice yoga every single day… 20 min in the morning and 20 min at night before bed. I am not a girl who wants to sweat a lot, cause sorry ladies but it never looks cute. For yoga you really do need appropriate clothes and the shirt I had on today was kind of a flirty off the shoulder type that would not work well. So – I took it off. I never wear bra and there I was boobs free in the breeze going into my mountain pose….. when the phone rang.

I set up his call topless, and luckily this guy was into mutual masturbation. I’d have felt kind of student playing the dirty college student looking for a better grade roleplay with no top on. Yes, this client got me off, made me happy, and was super sweet.

The moral of the story is this: Yes I am a phone sex operator, but I am probably not walking around my house in lingerie and high heels just waiting for your call. However, I might be doing topless yoga and that’s still a good start! And yes, I am one of those genuine phone sex girls that doesn’t want to star in porn movies, but is totally into masturbation. Yes fellas, we are not a figment of your imagination.

So I was doing a call…. And a very long time client told me I was special and unique in the business. I would say that 99% of phone sex callers try every girl and every service out there. Most callers have maybe 2 or 3 regular places they use. This caller said no way… he will only talk to me. Usually I don’t believe that, I know the deal and how it works… I’m a realist. I’m also nosy as shit. So I love to probe a caller for feedback lol.

He told me he thinks I am unique because I actually engage in the conversation. He said after years of talking to him that I still ask questions about his sexual fetish… like I am interested.

I AM interested. I’m a psych major lol I like to understand, to imagine things in my own mind, to see literally where someone is coming from. I try to imagine each fantasy like a mini movie in my mind. Plus like I said earlier… I’m nosy as shit.

He said I am almost Lady-Like which completely offended me! But I was intrigued. He went on to explain that for him … phone sex was not just about the words themselves, but the way they are said and the passion behind them.

I really liked this compliment. And like any “lady like” girl…. a compliment will get you everywhere with me!

I have a long time caller that is in residency as a psychiatrist. I’ve known him forever it seems like, and we talk about a lot of things aside from “phone sex”. We end up going a few hours on the phone because we both enjoy good conversation in general too. So you get the point… I like him and we talk as much casually about other topics as much as we talk dirty.

Basically we get into these intellectual conversations about the psychology of phone sex and he is often amazed at my own personal mental stability haha. I always explain that I became a phone sex operator due to choice… not a “need”. I’ve continued to do it because I like it, the masturbation (like who wouldn’t duh), but also I truly enjoy the banter with individual callers too.

So Dr. Whackit, as I will call him with affection, and I were speaking about some of the traits it takes to be a phone sex operator. Then we began to compare it to what he does for a living too and I dunno, it was interesting to me. So I thought I’d share a little of what was said, my point of view, his point of view, and sort of mix it up like a dirty cocktail.

Oh, let me do my disclaimer too… there are lots of smart women in the phone sex industry that can do all of the following just as well, if not better than I. But let’s all face it too… some fall into it without knowledge, education, experience, or even talent etc etc etc. I guess the point is like any other work we have our good eggs and the bad ones. Though, often, the bad eggs are more misinformed than malicious. Ok, there said it.

To be a good phone sex operator, you have to know how to run a business and all the stuff that includes like: customer service, the laws, the boring paperwork etc. You can’t really be a dumb farm girl and totally succeed on your own if taxes, accountants, and the legalities intimidate you. You have to know the difference between profits, losses, demographics, price points, and return on investments. The good news to the boring shit…. is that callers prefer intelligent women who know how to do this. It makes them horny… if this business talk is making you horny right now… then call me.

To be a good phone sex operator you have to know what true communication is. I don’t mean spouting off a bunch of dirty words either. You have to understand the basic psychology of communication. A good communicator isn’t afraid to say no, and believes in what they say… as well as being able to literally verbalize it to someone else. A good communicator actually wants to hear the other side too. Plus let’s face it… sex…. when we are able to communicate about it – just gets better.

To be a good phone sex operator you have to know what your true motivations are, and why you are doing it. You have to understand your OWN psychological make up. If you don’t, then you may not really know who you are…. or have the confidence needed to succeed. Without confidence, all you really have is “good intentions” which are not enough. I try to keep my motives “positive” too… I think about things in a positive way, always a new idea, and always a solution to everything. I am also positive that my motivations are perverted. Did I say that?

To be a good phone sex operator you have to have creativity and that is something you either have or you don’t, it doesn’t go away and it doesn’t suddenly return. Creativity happens in many areas of our lives and having a vivid imagination is one a huge part of our sex lives too. So let’s get creative… Let’s find a new way to rub one out and then do it differently the next time too. Let’s be creative and shake things up whoohoo!

To be a good phone sex operator you have to be able to speak. Some girls get caught in the “oh baby hmmmm oh baby” stuff for 10 minutes and there is no substance. Being able to string a sentence together isn’t enough; you have to speak combined with the confidence, creativity, and by using the good communication skills as stated above. Kinda obvious. But also a voice is everything, as well as the use of language.

To be a good phone sex operator you must have the ability not to take things so personally. I am just myself on my calls, but I also separate my life some too. I do not LIVE everything I FANTASIZE about. My business is a part of my life, but it is not my whole life. I don’t have to take things “personally” this way.

To be a good phone sex operator you have to have patience. This is not a get rich quick type of business… it grows and grows over time so you have to water the horny plant daily. Each year my goal is to make more money than last year and I have never lost out once. Talk to my accountant – he actually brags about me to other clients lol. (or maybe he just wants to bang me)

So now let’s break it down: professionalism, communication, motivation, confidence, creativity, good speech patterns, not taking things down to a personal level and patience…. Dr Whackit told me these are all important things that he must do or qualities he must have as well to work as a Psychiatrist. You thought I went off the point of the story probably… but no, I had one. Phone Sex can be a little like counseling experience… of course the main objective is more about your penis rather than your childhood experiences… but both things probably need your attention anyway. You just simply seek out 2 different types of pros to handle them.

I got a wickedly nice compliment today from a pretty new caller. He told me that he has called phone sex services/girls for many years and he told me that by far I am the best he has ever spoken with.

Now, let me tell you a secret in the phone sex industry. Anytime a guy shoots his load… and anytime you are a part of it… he says you are the best. Let’s face it… all that release and endorphin high pretty much weaves a magic happy spell on anyone, and especially so on a drooling penis. I know this, and rarely take it seriously. However, I often have very communicative callers, and they can make me believe them with good reason… as was the case today.

Let’s just say if I have any celebrity status in the phone sex world (lol) that it comes from my “I Hate Phone Sex Ads…” theory and mentality. Claiming “I Hate Phone Sex Ads” has been my motto for a very long time now, and I’ve seen it often imitated… but trust me I do subscribe to it’s theory.

I don’t like fakeness… I mean in my real life too. You know the people who are all so happy, peppy, and completely not genuine? Blech. I know I am not unique in the fact that I don’t how to be that way, or maybe it’s just too much effort to constantly put on a mask such as that to the world. I’m just always ME, whether it’s cranky or happy and peppy.

That applies to phone sex too. You know how many ads imply bullshit like… “I can do EVERY fantasy on the planet”… or “I am a total slut every minute of the day”….. or something like that? Call me cynical…. But I don’t believe it. Further, what I often hear from callers makes it even worse.

You don’t need to use a phone sex script to SOUND like one for instance. If ever other word out of an operators mouth is “oh baby” or she just goes in to moan-a-tone sound… it’s ends up sounding like a script even if it isn’t. At the very least… it sounds rehearsed or common placed for the girl. Phone sex with too much structure involved is just like a script too. Don’t we all really want it to be more fun, impulsive, and spontaneous?

I don’t know how to do that phony shit. I just don’t. Part of why I like what I do is because I like people, like to meet them, like to talk to them and get to know them. People interest me, and MEN interest me the most. I could not enjoy myself on any call if I put on a fake front. If I am not enjoying myself in some way… how can the other person? The way I relate to Tom is different than how I relate to Harry… or to Dick…ok let me giggle like crazy now from saying dick… hehehehehehehe

I truly do dislike the way phone sex is advertised, that is not a joke. I think it comes out as cheap most of the time without considering the fact that ALL callers are unique individuals or human beings even. Because of that… I have to work with you as a person, not as a fetish or fantasy where one size fits all. If a guy comes along and says he has a panty fetish… I pick his mind, and I get to his unique secrets.

I don’t “get into my character” when my phone rings… instead I “get into the call”. I question you, I take directions, I add my own creativity, and I give every caller a piece of myself. Cheap phone sex… expensive phone sex… none of that really matters. It’s only a price. What matters most is that you get what you are paying for.

My caller today pointed this all out to me, and we discussed this topic at length. I love to go hard and fast into this type of conversation. I don’t really believe that I am the “BEST”… but what I do believe is that I am a woman with an edge in the phone sex world. I’m a little different, a little more genuine in who I am, and a lot more natural than you might expect. I’m a deep thinker who analyzes myself and my caller. I work hard to make you happy without working hard to be something I’m not. I love phone sex most when a caller truly “gets me”, and enjoys my company for what it is.

One of the cool things about my business is that I often get calls like the one I got today. A guy called me and right away told me “I have never called a phone sex service before, and I stumbled on your site by accident. But I’m intrigued”.

I said… “So you are calling to see if I am real and for me to sell ya on talking to me then… right”?

I get calls like this all the time. I gave him my “sales pitch” which is really a simple explanation of how things work. I do it with the facts, but trust me my charm is there too. I hate to be cocky… (really I don’t) but I am charming as hell and I know it.

So we proceeded to set up his call. He was a little nervous giving me all his billing info but as I usually do… I explained why I needed it, and how it would be handled etc. You know how much I hate to be cocky…. but I am pretty professionally minded and well spoken too.

Once his account was set up and we proceeded to do our call we talked at length about why he decided to call. See, I’ve done this long enough to spot a fib, so I can usually tell if someone has had phone sex with a service or not. I’ve had guys call and tell me that simply because I guess they believe they will get a certain kind of treatment or whatever. When that happens, I can usually tell that too. This guy was legit, and I had no reason to doubt him.

I love to get feedback from my callers, and especially from the newbies that have never paid for it before. Of course free is always good … because it’s FREE. But when you pay for it… the girl usually isn’t shy, reserved, or afraid to get down and dirty. It’s a lot less work smooth talking on your part too.

Let’s face it… if you call a service you should know you are going to pay for it, and yeah this IS a business first and foremost to everyone involved. I remember a while back working with a girl who totally got pissed off because I called the guys I talked to “customers”. Her opinion was that it was a reminder to them that they were paying for it. Well no shit Sherlock. This is completely the reason I don’t get a long with most females… they get all touchy feelie and I’m just not. That kind of attitude falls in line with stereotypical thinking that all guys who call phone sex are freaks, losers, and weirdos IMO. That just ain’t true either. Of course you know you are paying when you call a frickin’ business. Duh! There is nothing really wrong with paying for something you want and having it done right.

I think my site is unique in several ways, I try to make all of the business stuff clear and concise with a no bullshit attitude. It’s all up front baby and has no tricks to it! I get feedback all the time from my callers and I take it very seriously. My business is strategic, but I’ve also always tried to do things my own way… such as offering cheap rates to guys without considering them to be “cheapsakes” for it. I also try damn hard to break the stereotypes of women who work in the phone sex industry. I happen to be educated, intelligent, business oriented, and not doing it out of “desperation”.

These were all things the guy who called me today pointed out as things that peaked his curiosity enough to call me. He was not a freak, a weirdo, or a cheapsake… he was a lawyer. He was super nice, had a great personality, and continued to extend his time. The phone sex part was pretty hot too! He may or may not call me ever again… I have no idea. But the one thing I know is that I pulled him in to a naughty world, even for just a little while. And my hope for him is that he had fun, and that if he calls again he knows what quality in phone sex as a business is now. If he does, then I have done my job 100% correctly.

Yes. I am a party girl by nature. I was born a flirt. I like to have fun. Can I be home on New Years Eve? HELLLLLL NO. I got plans tonight baby, I’m going out, and there will be heavy drinking of alcohol involved. You didn’t really think a girl like me would stay home did you?

I got my outfit selected. I bought some new lipstick. I got the tunes picked out. I got the friends and the man lined up. Ahhh New Years is totally one of my favorite holidays. It’s what life is all about… getting drunk and passing out in a corner… er oh I really mean… “it’s about cutting loose and having a BLAST”.

It’s kinds like phone sex actually. Same kind of freedom. Same kind of fun. Just usually not so much alcohol. Talking to me is cheaper than a case of beer though. So set your resolutions, be sure to include a call to me, cause… 2009 is gonna be awesome.

I’m not a cheap chick, even though my rates are very fair… I’m not a cheapsake in real life or anything, and I feel like my prices are “fair”. In my normal life… I buy what I need, but also what I like. I don’t shop at Goodwill. I have Coach purses, I buy new clothes each season, I know how to shop and spend very well. I just am not a discount store person… I am a bargain hunter perhaps. I’m also a technology geek… I always have the latest thing. For example I had a SmartPhone several years ago before anyone else I knew had one. Now saying all of this you’d think I spent my money all too fast all the time, but no. I’m just lucky to have inherited some great skill at dealing with my own money. So while I spend I still have IRAs, savings, CDs etc… and a new car. Go figure… not all blondes are dumb.

All of the above being said… I have never found the perfect way to be organized, both in my personal life or even work… though I am better in that. Granted, I am better at it than most people I know or have ever known lol, but I have always been seeking the best solution. Over the last few years I have tried many things and ways, but in the back of my mind I have always known the answer. I had been considering it for a very long time, just did more talking about it than doing it. I finally broke down and went for it.

I got myself a personal assistant. Her name is Brenda and I think I wuv her. She bright, cheery, organized… and fits into my life perfectly. I am so thrilled, plus she is a really snapper dresser lol. Brenda is easy going and her brain is literally a frickin’ computer. I swear it, if I tell her something ONCE, then the girl is on top of it. And the best part? She will work at 6am or at midnight, now THAT is flexibility.

Should I DO her?

Check out some new pics Just click on them and they will open up to a larger size.

If you don’t wanna marry me… then give me a call instead!

Does being a phone sex lover contribute to good karma? I think it does. I have just always viewed phone sex as two things: #1 a FUN and an easy going experience and #2 about helping people.

Ok does that sound all egotistical to say that I HELP people? It might, but that is what I fucking believe, ok? LOL. I really do.

My life has changed a lot over the years since I embarked into my phone sex career…I’ve completed my education, I’ve grown as a person… blah blah. But I’ve never walked away from it, because ultimately I have always believed that what I do has VALUE in the world. I also value the people I talk with.

It’s a lofty responsibility to get soooo intimate with people (when it’s done right), to discuss deeply personal experiences or desires… and to still enjoy it all the time. Masturbation in and of itself is a taboo; it’s not something we often discuss with our friends or relatives. It makes things fun for me, I love to intellectualize it.. and DO IT.

I’ve been lucky… callers share things with me whether it’s glimpses into their personal lives, or just their dirty fantasies. I consider myself fortunate to hear those “secrets”, and to get to talk to so many different people. It’s made me smarter beyond my years. I’ve never been one to expect or ask for tips and gifts… it’s just too tacky for me. Instead I just enjoy the time I spend on the telephone with each guy I talk to.

For the caller… being able to express your sexuality freely to a woman can be liberating… and definitely pretty naughty! I feel that I get to HELP people by providing this environment for them. It can be even better to talk to someone who has a genuine interest in you beyond just moaning in your ear too. I do not understand why more people aren’t able to openly discuss sex or masturbation, I guess I have become so open minded that I can’t understand an unwillingness to listen to someone else’s fantasies.

Sure, what I do for a living isn’t brain surgery, but I am answering my own calling… of the slutty variety. I just think and feel I am creating a positive karmic effect by making men happy. I have often wondered if there is a “horny bitch” heaven… and if so…. then I should have one big ass harp waiting for me there!

So on my local area news tonight was a little phone sex story. I literally laughed, but I swear they are also so silly. Local new shows are always aimed at the emotional response instead of the intelligent one.

You know an important package might be delivered to your house when you aren’t home and the mail carrier leaves you a little card telling you so? Usually they have a telephone number on it that you are supposed to call and make new arrangements to get your package. Well… in my local area there was a typo made to the telephone number on several thousand of those post cards. When you called it… you get a phone sex line… not the Post Office.

Then on the news they interviewed a woman who said… “what if a child or a grandmother called it?”

First of all… do you ever notice that the news always interviews the dumbest people? I started cracking up as soon as I knew this was venturing down that area. I think if a grandmother called, she’d know it was phone sex… and furthermore she became a Grandmother because she was obviously fucking at least a few times in her life. It might freak her out for a minute, she’d hang up, and so on… but I doubt it would kill her.

As for the other comment… why would you have your 7 year old call the Post Office?

We’re not all this dumb are we? I so enjoyed the news tidbit that I had to post about it. Not everyday I get to listen to my local new casters say “phone sex” repeatedly LOL. The whole thing had me roaring with laughter! I just keep imagining the embarrassment at the Post Office hehe.

My Personality
I’m going to charm the pants right off of you. Some guys say I am the Princess of Seduction. Some guys say I am a hot little minx.

I masturbate; therefore I am. I touch myself, because I can. If you sound sexy, if you are sweet to me, then I will want to cum with you.

I’m always told I am the girl next door. But there is so much more to me than that. My mind and speech are slow and gradual. Before you know it - you will be lost in my wicked web of lust. My feminine hiss will run through your mind… days later, even when you try to block it out. A phone sex call with me is not some High School play or performance. It’s an indulgence in adult delights.

I promise you I know how to be feminine. I will bring out your natural male urges, so intensely that you will feel my softness beside you. I’m down to earth and I always share myself with you. I’m business minded, intelligent, open, and our phone call together will be extremely intimate.

Let’s try to be more meaningful than: “uh so what do you like” when we talk. Let’s probe our minds deeply. Let’s share some real experiences we’ve had in a blatantly honest environment. Our phone call will be exactly as WE MAKE IT to be. So let’s make it personal and real.

Ever wonder how many times in one day that I cum? Call me and I will tell you!

Hey! For something different I thought I might post some things you may not have known about me. Ok so this is boring mundane crap… but also just who I am! Yes, I am really boring and mundane in my regular life sometimes. I don’t live the life of a sex goddess damn it. I have to make some changes I guess

I am a huge Howard Stern fan, I listen everyday and am a superfan.
I’m an animal lover, I volunteer my time and money to donate to shelters.
I am a purse addict. I buy a new purse for every season, and they are all black.
I am a Star Wars geek, and I beat everyone at any Trivia game on it.
I love odd and unusual collectibles, and I have many weird collections.
I am not squeamish, and I like scary movies.
My favorite place to be is the beach.
I love pizza and beer.
I drive an SUV and I like to drive too fast.
I do yoga daily both in the morning and at night.
My favorite season is Autumn.
My favorite holiday is Halloween and I love to dress up for it.
I like Guy Movies better then Chick Flicks.
I hate it when a guy sends me flowers.
I would make a crappy housewife because I hate to clean.
My favorite meal of the day is breakfast.
I love Italian Food and my favorite is Gnocci.
My perfect date is … dinner, movie, drinks, and sex. In that order.
I am attracted to a man’s hands.
I have an extensive education and a vast amount of common sense.
It’s difficult for anyone to lie to me without me catching them.
I have a cynical side and my trust is earned.
I have a warped and twisted sense of humor.
I find humor in many inappropriate things and laugh at things that make others cringe.
I am witty and sarcastic but always in a fun way.
I often say what I think bluntly, and some people do not appreciate it.
I have a very deep fear of drowning.
I dislike people who are “too nice and sugary” because I find it to be very false.
I’m laid back and rarely “seek” to be the center of attention.
I am confidant without arrogance.
It is hard for me to accept compliments or gifts.
I have a shy side in large groups of people.
I really hate crowds, I will deal with it but get impatient.
I swear like a drunken sailor and love to find new ways to curse.
I am gentle and very sweet.
I have a well rounded education and am well traveled.
I was once told that I have a very high degree of ethics and character.
I flirt with everyone, even women or grandmothers.
I keep my friends for years and years.
I love phone sex and love what I do!

Ok I hope this cracks you up as much as it does me. First of all I am a fan of parody, and I am from the pop culture generation. So if you are a pervert and happen to have these things in common with me, then you’ll truly appreciate the humor.

The Brady Bunch goes XXX rated. I kid you not. You can even see the trailer here:

I LOVE the song. OMG I was laughing my ass off!

Here is the movie’s description: Facing financial woes, Mike & Carol put the family on a budget. The kids take odd jobs to help save their house from bank foreclosure, but when Marcia unwittingly applies for a job as a “figure” model, wild fun and sexual mayhem ensue when she discovers she’s about to star in a “porn movie”!

Now if you are as demented as me and need to see this… you can rent it online, or own it by clicking here –> Not the Bradys XXX

Yes I downloaded it to own… I am sick and twisted.

Join the PhoneFlirts Newsletter! Lynnea will send out updates, or occasional info that you’ll want to know!

I stumbled across this link from some forum and thought it was pretty cute! It’s just one of those freebies on the internet that can make you smile. I am wondering if it can give you a stiffy though. So click on the banner and listen to a sexy voice moan out your computer’s IP address.
Enjoy

Good thing Phone Flirts aren’t automated. I got a hoot out of this.

Well it’s that time of year again, when the weather warms up… the sun comes out… and much less clothing is worn! It’s also time to plan my usual beach vacation! This year I have rented an immaculate house that is directly on the beach and includes a hot tub. I have spent an obscene amount of money on it. Business has been pretty good – what can I say?

I am now ready for the shopping excursion to get all new clothes for it. I am bikini obsessed and like to have at least 7 at all times so I have a different one for each day. Each summer I purchase a new one, and retire one. This year I’m retiring a cute little purple one and I’ll try to replace it this weekend.

I love the way a bikini feels against my skin, and more importantly I love the attention I get from it. In real life I am somewhat normal – if you can believe that! I am not mega-slut for real, just on the internet lol. But I do love to see men inappropriately watching me when I am in my bikini. Wearing a bikini is almost like being naked in public and that appeals to my personal fantasy.

I always had what I have called my slight exhibitionist desire. I like the idea of sex in public and being watched, or being seen naked etc. Wearing a bikini is close to it, without breaking a law lol. In some ways I like the tease of it even more then full exposure. I can remember laying out in the sun on the beach about 2 years ago and some couple I didn’t know were nearby. The angle at which they were sitting allowed the husband (or boyfriend, whatever he was) to have a clear shot of my bikini crotch if I dared to open my legs. I’m sure you can guess that I did. I had to see if he noticed, and once I knew he noticed I didn’t do it again. I liked the idea of giving him a “little” and then taking it away.

Maybe this year I will “accidentally” flash some nipple slip to some poor unsuspecting husband. In any case… I cannot wait to get into my bikini, on the beach, and be a tease. Life is hard when your main focus is men. Poor poor me.

I’ve been asked by many callers what I think about during masturbation. I thought I’d talk a little about my desires and how I masturbate to them. Ok granted the whole subject could be a book in, and of itself LOL.

One thing I’ve learned from being a phone sex operator is that every fantasy is a bit different with a different person. Real sex is too of course. I don’t find that I have one single favorite phone fantasy… I think a lot depends upon the chemistry that you develop with one another. It all depends on how you “connect” to the other person, it’s that chemistry that makes real sex or phone sex really good. But fantasies are fun, and it’s a way you always get to use your imagination and creativity. It’s like being a sex artist!

To share a fantasy with another person we have to rely mainly upon how well we can verbalize them. It’s always been hard for me to describe my fantasies as a full blown story with a beginning, middle, and ending. I do have some like that, but the majority are not.

Speaking for myself, I know that when I masturbate totally alone that it’s usually incoherent images in my head. I can jump from one image to another with no immediate theme to it. Sometimes it’s a past partner I think of, or maybe some guy I saw at the mall. I tend to most often think of the sex act itself. It usually doesn’t have a “back story” to it.

Or often when I masturbate I focus on the physical parts, namely mine. I look at my pussy in a mirror for instance and try to imagine how it looks to someone else. So of course I want to watch while I finger it… even imagine the taste and scent to someone else too. As I touch myself, I might be thinking about how someone else would touch me the same way etc.

Masturbation is kind of a selfish thing, not in a bad way mind you. It’s cool that we have the capability to take care of things ourselves, to settle our own urges. It can also be cool sometimes to not worry about pleasing a partner too. You can just lie back, and go for it.

To me it’s also always been a cool thing to share a “masturbation” experience. I mean, let’s just admit it…. We aren’t sharing it with everyone we know. To talk openly about it is a bit taboo. I guess that’s why I run my own phone sex service one of the things that drew me to the business! But then again, I’m just a horny naughty thing too hehe.

Amateur Phone Sex with Phone Flirts 1-800-972-LYNN

Humans are the only animal who can have sex over the phone. - David Letterman

I have this girlfriend and for her privacy I’m going to call her “asswipe”…. hehe mainly because that’s what we call one another the minute we can catch the other doing something “ditzy”. You know I have always gotten along best with chicks that form better bonds with men over other girls. Rarely do I have a lot of girlfriends at once, never did, I always got along better with guys.

Now mind you, I am feminine… I am not a bully type of personality chick that people look at and wonder if I am a lesbian. You know the stereotype right? (joke) No, I am very feminine; however, my personality is more blunt, and often times other girls can’t handle the things I say. I am not one of those girls that tells her friend she looks great in blue if she looks like hell in it. Of if her boyfriend sucks then I say it. Girls hate that! I can’t help it! But it’s cool because I expect to be told the truth back.

So “asswipe” and I have this great friendship because she is a lot like me, never really enjoying the company of other females much. We’re not into talking about weddings, baby showers, and keeping up with the neighbors. In fact we laugh a hell of a lot and I think it’s because we just have a more crude sense of humor.

“Asswipe” actually doesn’t live near me boohoo… but we are planning this visit where she is going to come for a week and stay at my place early this summer. I am so looking forward to it because the weather is finally getting better around here to where you can take advantage of outdoor activities. I am not talking about planting flowers (like typical girls might) … I am talking about field parties with loads of drinking hehe.

I keep trying to talk “asswipe” into doing some calls with me. She’s remaining shy about it at this point, but I am going to keep up the pressure. (I hope she is not reading this and discovering my plot). If I can convince her… there could be lots of personal benefits involved….. all of them kinda lesbian-ish.

Hello you horny boys! I’ve been working my behind off a lot lately! I’m actually expanding the service… growing things and adding lots of new operators. I will eventually have girls for everyone’s “taste”. Right now I am so busy hiring them and training… that it doesn’t leave much time for me. But that won’t last long hehe. If you’d like to check out the ones I have recently added… go to this link Phone Sex Girls

I hope everyone faired well with their taxes! I am an early bird and have mine always done by Feb 15th. My accountant loves me and told me I am the MOST organized client he has… he suggested I teach a course in it lol. I wonder if he was just flirting with me.

On to the dirty parts! One of my cute shy guys called me bright and early this morning. I do love the shy ones! We talk a little, tease a little, flirt a lot… and then we get comfortable. For those of you reading this who didn’t know… comfortable means NAKED. He is usually so shy it’s almost like he is afraid to say something dirty before I do. I guess I don’t mind, it just allows me to take the reins then and lead him into dark moist places…namely mine. I adore his sounds… so quiet yet breathy. It’s a huge turn on for me to hear how different men sound when they masturbate.

I’m a thinker, a studier. And everything I do in life is very deliberate. I don’t make impulsive decisions, I don’t make foolish choices because I mentally plan my actions out carefully weighing all the options. This includes sex too.

Sure impulsive animalist raw power banging is awesome. I love it like that sometimes. But I normally prefer something slow, intentional, long, drawn out, and going to the brink of no return without fully ending things. I like a sex session to take a while. I like phone sex where we communicate, and ease into each stroke with a building intensity. I am a pleasure seeker… in all ways.

My shy morning guy and me did it slow today. Sometimes we do not have to say much for a few minutes. His breathing works on me the same way mine must be working on him. The sounds of masturbation can seem so… well, dirty. It must be because no one is supposed to HEAR them. I dunno, I just know it’s exciting to me. Hearing soft little wimpers, heavy hard breaths, tiny little gasps…. gets my juices flowing. During my call today we let it build up with just our sounds, we speak and it releases a little, and then we go right back to the breathy build up. Nothing like a fresh morning orgasm to start the day off right!

It’s crazy isn’t it? Writing a diary entry can be relieving, it can make me organize my thoughts better…. And it can totally turn me on too.

So my boyfriend and I will be celebrating our little anniversary this weekend. Its 2 years and counting. We have a nice solid mature relationship. I can count the arguments we’ve had and he’s never so much as raised his voice to me. We’ve got a lot in common. He’s great to me, I am the perfect little minx at home and the proper lady in front if friends. I’d say I was a lady in public… however, that’s not always true.

Take this past Saturday night for example; Saturday my man was busy with his work so I rang up the gal pal to hit up our favorite little drinking spot. I didn’t have to twist her arm… her hubby was on her nerves because he’s a lot more conservative than she is. She accepted my invitation with excitement. When we get together… there is trouble. Or at least usually Karaoke. Anyway….

I picked her up in my car and we drove to our place. Fixed our lipstick, got our drinks. My little admirer was there of course, a 21 year old college boy with great eyes and a perfect smile. He’s so damn cute and shy – just the way I like ‘em… which means he is corruptible. We’ve had this on going flirtation for quite awhile now and he is still too shy to blatantly hit on me. That’s cool, I’m a taken woman (I keep reminding myself) and I love a good tease. So that’s what I do… flirt and tease…. And almost dare him to make a move.

Did you ever drink Kamakazies? Oh my goodness they do go down smooth and easy. I like to drink, but I am not good at it and don’t do it often enough to have a good tolerance. Now my girlfriend on the other hand may have the goal of becoming a raging alcoholic… she can drink any guy under the table. In other words… soon we were dancing, singing loudly, falling over the place. You get the picture right?

Lucky for me I have my little admirer; he tries to keep me in line by being very protective. I think I freak him out a little because he is so shy. He was chasing me all over the place cleaning up the mess I kept making by spilling my drinks everywhere. Eventually it was time to slow it down, chill out, and sober up to drive home later.

I was a good girl yet again damn it. This guy is so sweet; I know I could take him home one night and totally do obscene things to him. He’s younger than me and I have this fantasy of being the “older woman” teaching the young anxious virginal guy. Anyway he is always so disappointed when I leave the bar. He looks so cute, like a little puppy dog with sad eyes. He knows I am involved with someone, so he’s always well mannered and polite.

When I got home I was in the horny state from all my flirtations and adding alcohol to my system just brings out my natural animal. I fucked my man silly and thought about my boy toy left at the bar who was probably home by now jerking off and thinking about me. At least that’s my hope. Maybe I’ll ask him next time I see him.

Two weeks ago I got a new outfit. I got it at Victoria’s Secret, and yes they sell more than just lingerie. I got a cute form fitted sweater with a v-neck that criss crosses. It’s ALMOST off my shoulders and the color is passion pink lol. I got a pair of stretchy tight fitting jeans that sit low on my waist.

I did all this for New Years Eve – a time in which I intend to party my little heiny off. I will go out with some of my very best friends to drink shitloads of beer and shake my booty. I am a beer girl through and through…I do like Vodka but I don’t drink those foofoo sissy girlie drinks with umbrellas or fruit. I don’t drink often anymore, but when I do I pretty much wanna get wasted.

I’m a conservative type of person in general until you really get to know me. Maybe reserved is a better choice of words. But once you get to know me my wit comes across much clearer and so forth. I’m very ladylike I guess and well mannered in public for instance. But when I drink – I tend to totally drop my guard.

My best girlfriend and I drink alike. Does that make sense? Let me explain better. We grew up together, we learned to drink together, to sneak out of the house, and all the naughty things you do in school. We drink at the same identical pace. We have about the same tolerance level, and we get silly together at the exact same time. We also compete… who can be MORE obnoxious etc once we’ve hit the perfect buzz. We were very popular at frat parties or in bars a few years back. We’ve both settled down a wee bit… but every new years eve we get crazy again.

So all you perverts and casual surfers think of me tomorrow night about 11:45pm having to be picked up off the floor. I intend to party down. Don’t worry I won’t be driving! So you have a safe and Happy New Year too!!!!

My boyfriend was over last week one day and I was having some work done by a designer which he became aware of. (she did a great job on my blog didn’t she?) I don’t share much about the day to day work stuff with my boyfriend, and honestly he doesn’t care a whole lot about advertising, marketing, and web design.

He asked me if I ever write about him, and I said no I really didn’t. He told me that I should. I asked him, “Well honey what should I write”? He said very arrogantly that I should post about what a stud puppet he is.

It’s true I guess… he IS my little stud puppet. I like to put him to work a lot… men are supposed to do a lot of work you know. But the job is always my body. This past Sunday (yesterday) we decided to stay in bed pretty much all day for sex. We don’t see each other much during the week so we have lots of fucking to squeeze into the weekends. Saturday was some holiday thing we had to do, and that means we were not at my place banging that night. We saved it up for Sunday then.

Did you ever try to do that? Just stay in bed all day and fuck? I mean, basically you do have to get up to use the bathroom, and sometimes it’s because there is some cum stuck in your hair etc. You also do need to eat as well because good sex makes you hungry. And of course you must replenish fluids frequently. But the rest of your time is spent on sex. Sure, you do end up red and raw… but do you REALLY mind that? I don’t.

I am proud to share that my stud puppet was able to get his dong stiff 11 times yesterday. We did it predominately in bed, once on the floor. As you can see… it is true he is a stud. Now he can be happy when I tell him I posted about him.

Here is an example of an email I got today!

Yesterday, I found your story about the public cock tease, and I can’t get it out of my mind. Your love for breaking hearts and making a man ache is absolutely intoxicating. It’s so rare to find a woman who knows how to use her femininity softly, gently, as a devastating weapon. I have to call you soon! your new fan “J”

Is my head swelling? My ego is getting HUGE. What a nice compliment and I don’t know if I could describe myself in such a good way! But the important thing is that this guy GETS IT. And furthermore he appreciates it…. I love it when that happens!

Speaking of teasing I have this new little fan in my real life too. Now first let me say I HAVE a boyfriend and I really try to be a good girl. But I dunno sometimes it gets difficult.

I have a local bar I hang out in, meet my girlfriend at, have a few drinks etc. It’s not your typical “club” type of thang, though I have one of those too. This is a place you go to when you don’t want live or loud music (and I like those places too). This is a little bar, the place where you know a bunch of people etc. And I’ve been going there for a few years.

I also need to explain that my best girl friend and me go here to do serious drinking and we don’t do that as much as we did a few years back. When her and I get together we get wild, but when you add alcohol things can get down right raunchy. We’re troublemakers and I have no excuses.

Lately there have been some new crowds coming to our little bar hang out. A group of 4 guys all about 21 and they go to a local college. So they are younger by a few years and we paid very little attention to them until……

One guy from that group, the shy one…… started to bullshit with me. He was very cute, well mannered, and nice. I, on the other hand, was drunk, loud, and obnoxious that night. I think I gave him an education in foul language and even part of an anatomy lesson when I climbed on the pool table in my miniskirt. Ooops.

To make a long story short, (which I suck at) this sweet shy 21 year old has become smitten with me. I’ve seen him a few more times, he is cautiously hitting on me and kindly flirting. I haven’t paid for a drink in 3 weeks. I have his full attention all night long. Me? What do you think… come on. I’m egging it on and you aren’t really shocked. I can tell I have him horny as a dog too. It’s wrong it’s wrong I know it. I don’t really have any intentions of cheating on my boyfriend. But the little devil on my shoulder keeps whispering…. “Lynn… you also need the boy toy”. Why won’t that damn devil shut up?

He is just such a cutie pie and I look at his sweet but innocent smile and think to myself, “gawd his face would look cuter between my legs”. Then I chug down a quick shot to clear my dirty mind.

What can I do? And it’s almost the weekend. I hope I can behave.

Kisses,
Lynnea

Phone Sex with Lynnea

I hate to sound like an ego maniac… (well not really) but I had a few desktop wallpapers made up of… ME. Now all you have to is click on one and the larger size will open in a new window. Then save it to your computer! Let me know what you think of these…

Kisses,
Lynnea

Phone Sex with Lynnea

I spoke to a caller this week that told me his credit card information was compromised. I have personally used multiple credit cards online for years and have never had my info compromised, but I am also pretty cautious. I’m very internet savvy so I gave him a few tips, and thought I may as well post them here too.

Firstly, your credit card information can leak out from ANY purchase you make. That means even at the local shopping mall. Ask retailers to tear up carbon copies of your charge slips…. often they are tossed into the trash and a good criminal knows that.

A huge portion of credit card fraud or theft takes place due to using your card for online purchases. So, secondly, make sure that any services you use, or places that you make a purchase are places that can be trusted. Try to stick with companies that you have heard of, that advertise, or that you know are reputable. Review a website carefully, if it doesn’t seem professional for any reason then take pause before you hand over all your details. Trust your instincts.

Thirdly, keep track of your receipts and review your credit card statements every month at the very least. Jot down purchases you make when you do not have a receipt.

Lastly, if you are joining an adult membership website then read things closely. Pay attention to see if charges will reoccur each month etc. Also take note of contact info to the owner of the site. You may need it in the future should there be a problem.

And now my tips for guys that use their credit cards when calling a phone sex service such as mine.

READ over the website CAREFULLY do not skim. Look for billing explanations. Look for contact info. Look for a professional attitude. Ok we all know it’s the photos or the phone number you want the most when surfing a phone sex site…. but you should READ them too. You should know how things are done, and who you are doing business with.

When you call a new phone sex service… ask what information is needed from you and what it is used for. Then asked who else sees your info and how it is stored. If the operator has difficulty explaining the answers or the billing procedure, or sounds a bit ditzy about it, then please think twice. The bottom line is this, and pardons my bluntness….. If someone can’t explain those answers then it is unlikely they will be able to protect your information. Phone Sex is dirty, kinky, naughty, and fun; but there is a professional business side that also needs to be handled intelligently.

Find out HOW it appears on your billing statement. Make a clear mental note or write it down so you don’t stroke your wiener and forget it later.

Make sure your information is NOT emailed to anyone, including owners, partners or etc. Having inside knowledge of the phone sex industry… I know that many small services still do those things and there are better ways to handle it. Emailing any consumer info should be a total no-no to any decently run business.

If your info is stored in a database then find out if it an online one, or on a computer. Both can be a risk. For instance I store info for my callers in a database. I do not use Microsoft products for it, I encrypt it, I password protected it several times over, and it is not stored on a computer that is connected to the internet. I go very far to protect my callers information. Should my computer get hacked then so be it…. there is nothing on it worthy to get.

There are many good phone sex services out there, and 90% are truly honest and cautious with your billing information. But being safe for you, as a customer should be of high importance. Don’t ever take for granted that the people you give your info to will protect it as well as YOU would. Ask questions and be informed!

Kisses,
Lynnea

Amateur Phone Sex with Lynnea

Do you like porn? Yeah me too. What? I knew you’d say yes ya pervert. For me, porn is supposed to turn me on. As a female I want some sexy teases, to see the actors undress, and then go for the hardcore. I want a little of the working into it. Don’t bother to give me a plot, they only come out stupid. Sometimes the compilation style porn is better because they drop the horrendous dialogue and jump into sex scenes instead. However, if you attempt to give me a plot then it should be interesting. I think most of us know that it rarely occurs… but a good example of smut with plot may be my post of my favorite porn movie Cafe Flesh.

The other thing for me and porn…. I prefer amateur style stuff. I can enjoy the other stuff too, but I’d rather watch people who aren’t perfect looking. Amateur babes without big fake looking boobs is just plain hotter to me. I like real looking people with some flaws and then I like to watch them fuck. Let me see a teensy bit of seduction and undressing then get at it. I like to watch undressing…. I dunno why, I just do.

One of the things about porn that most people have to agree about but rarely discuss is the “joke” to it. I think any porn fan has to admit to it, we have all sometimes rented DVDs to laugh at more than to get turned on by. Oh, believe me, I am not saying the movie won’t end up turning you on too, but sometimes we rent them due to the humorous titles.

Sometimes the titles are so hilarious, that it just wants to make you see it. Or perhaps I am the only chick in the world that has such a warped sense of humor? Nooo I CAN’T be the only one. I had to present you with my current favorite titles and see if you think they are as hilarious as I do. I put them into my rental queue; I have to see them.

Poop Chute Pumpers and Shit Hole Lickers
Bust a Nut in Grandma’s Butt
Soft Taco with Sour Cream
My Ass is Haunted

If you have seen them you have to contact me and tell me how you liked them. I can’t decide which to rent first!

Kisses,
Lynnea

Amateur Phone Sex with Lynnea

Today I thought I’d share a little post about one of my favorite callers. He is a true naughty phone sex fiend. I will call him “N” from Kentucky. I adore men who appreciate the art of flirting. You see my dear readers I am also a natural born flirt.

I love the game of flirting with a guy and “N” totally appreciates it. He tells me my voice makes his cock melt in his hands. I’ve never actually gotten to see that, but I suspect he is being honest from the moaning that comes down the telephone line. It sure as hell sounds like he sprung a cum leak.

“N” has a little kink for stockings, panties, and thongs. Being the lingerie slut that I am, I know how to tease him to hell and back. So I seduce him often, not often enough for my tastes because he really is a sweet baby doll. But I take what I can get.

Today was interesting though. See “N” is taking a few college courses and he was chatting to me online from the computer lab at his school. You know….. where lots of other people were around him, so it wasn’t possible for him to beat his meat off. I totally flirted and teased with him. To make matters worse I sent him a short dirty video clip of me that he obviously could not download at school. He protested for a whole 3 seconds I think. He liked it, the tease, the waiting…. knowing full well he won’t be able to watch my video clip until late tonight after his busy day. I, of course, knew this as well. But it didn’t stop me, it never stops me, it only encourages me.

I have to admit it, I like knowing poor “N” will be horny the rest of his day wondering about that little clip. Oh, and it’s good one too I might add. I wonder how long after he arrives home tonight that he will jerk off to it? I know he’d better email me with all the sordid sticky details.

Kisses,
Lynnea

Amateur Phone Sex with Lynnea

I’ve had a cool summer. I purchased a beach condo actually somewhere fairly close to home so I go as many weekends as I’d like. Next summer when I am more prepared I’ll be able to go down for weeks at a time and still take calls. Won’t that be cool to lie in the sun, maybe on the sand and try to masturbate secretly at the beach? I’ve already got plans for it.

From being in the sun so much at the beach, and at home here too - my hair has gotten quite blonde. Sometimes I put a little lemon in it, which of course helps the process along. I do love being a blonde. I can attract attention from my blonde locks. The lighter the locks the more attention I seem to attract. Of course it’s intentional.

Ok guys [insert dumb blonde joke here] Does it make me a bubble head? Ummmm sometimes…. but only in extremely adorable ways. Am I superficial and stereotypical blonde who only cares about sex, flirting, teasing, and looking good all the time? Well… maybe sometimes.

Ok on to some phone sex talk. I’ve got this caller that I will call “P”. When he first started calling me he was a phone sex virgin and I always appreciate that. He was willing to learn, to explore, and to talk to me so that he knew I understood him. I like the virgin to phone sex; I popped his cherry and taught him some new tricks. Now we talk and masturbate together weekly. Over time we’ve gotten to know one another quite well which means we know one another’s sounds of intensity. I know when he is about to cum, and he seems to enjoy listening to me cum for him. And the main thing is…… he REALLY likes blondes he said. Lucky me!

Kisses,
Lynnea

Amateur Phone Sex with Lynnea

This is going to be a boring post for something that expects me to shock them with lurid sex tales from a trampy phone sex operator. Today I was thinking about passion.

See when I was in high school I had that typical “sweetheart” relationship. I’m normal what can I say? We were sooo in love and could spend hours just kissing. We kissed in the backseat of our friend’s car, we kissed until our jaws were sore. We got detention multiple times for tonsil hockey sports in the halls.

I went to a large school too; I had a large graduating class so there were many kids that you just never even knew. To this day I can meet someone….. a guy, a girl, and just have casual conversation that causes us to discover we graduated together. And the next comment is always “Oh I know who you are.. you dated Blankity Blank because I always say you two sucking face in the hall”. I have to laugh about it now, but we were very hot for each other and we had passion.

In general I am a passionate person. I feel things deeply, I defend what I believe in passionately, and yes I still love to kiss with passion. Kissing is such a sensual act and there are so many ways to do it that can set the tone and mood for sex. A soft wet tongue tickling mine, swirling in my mouth, flicking around…… it’s literally delicious.

Kissing is a prelude to fucking and it tells you a lot about how the other person is going to fuck. Sloppy and aggressive? Or Juicy and soft? I’ll have both please with a side order of hard and deep. Can I have some passion sprinkled on that order too?

Well all this talk about passionate kisses has me feeling a little too frisky. Better stop while I can still contain my urges for the next unsuspecting caller.

Kisses,
Lynnea

Amateur Phone Sex with Lynnea

Damn! It got hot here real fast. Last week it was chilly then BAM summer hit. It’s damn hot already… and I am talking unable to breathe, body smacking sweaty sex hot. Did I say that?

I am a princess, I admit it. I have my central air on and turned down to 70 degrees baby. I like my condo nipple peaking cool. I don’t know how people live with out it. What girl wants to sweat? I’m too feminie to sweat lol.

Man sweat on the other hand is kind of hot….. in that same power fucking, body smacking kind of way. I love to see men in the neighborhood mowing the grass with no shirts on and their skin kind of glistening. I may not be anxious to smell them… but I turn my head to look at that gorgeous glow.

So anyway my neighbor was doing that today, he must have had the day off work and decided to mow his lawn. He is this married dude, kind of quiet, always polite. But I have caught him on several hundred or so occasions leering at me while I wash my car or get some sun on my deck. I know what he is thinking, hell I make sure he is thinking it.

Today though while he was mowing the lawn I saw him get too sweaty. He had to take off his tee shirt and tuck it into his back pocket. His skin was a little shiny and I just sat at the window watching him. Yummy. I know he saw me at least for a good minute. I figured I owed him a good leering and today he got it.

Kisses,
Lynnea

Phone Sex with Lynnea

Hello to my fellow Star Wars geeks. I have to publicly say that I got tons of email after my last post about the movie. Ok so it seems there are many horny SW geeks that enjoyed my brief comments and they all wanted to chat lol. Let me state for the record that I saw the film twice within that first weekend and I will probably see it a third on the big screen. The DVD will play weekly for awhile on my surround sound system. It’s awesome.

One of the reasons it was awesome was due to a very short 60 second scene involving one of the lead characters. His name is Hayden Christensen and he plays Anakin. For a whole 30-60 seconds I got to see him with his shirt off and he is now a man for sure with that chest. Hummmmm I got a little sweaty in the theatre witnessing that beauty. I decided to add him to my celebrity TO DO LIST.

See, I have this list of Hollywood hunks… mainly just actors that I find totally hot and I want TO DO. Yes, I mean I want to do it to them, I want to fuck them all senseless. I’ve just added innocent young Hayden whom I intend to do unspeakable things to in my fantasy. I would do things with him that would cause him to never look his own mother straight in the eyes again out of shame. Hehe. I am sweating again right now.

If you are intrigued about my TO DO LIST, I’ve been considering putting the whole list on the site just for fun. Then if Hayden or anyone else on it should see… they can call me to make arrangements. Hey, a girl has to dream….. and fantasize a lot to be in the phone sex business right?

It’s true; I annoy my boyfriend with this list. It’s always growing and he rolls his eyes at me. I can’t help being so perverted that I am incapable of watching pretty much any Movie or Television show without finding some guy in it to be fuck-able. It’s a cross I must bear and a soaked pair of panties I must wear.

Oh and Hayden, call me as soon as you see this.

Well this week the new Star Wars comes out and yes, I’ll be there. I’ve been counting down the days… hell I’ve been counting down the last 3 years actually. You see it’s true and I have to admit to it. I am a total Star Wars geek. I love the films, I collect some of the toys, I know all trivia, and I have seen each film hundreds of times. I am the only chick I know that’s such a fan and I am hoping it means I’m just cooler than most girls lol. I don’t know why or even how I became such a huge fan… maybe it’s the fact that Darth Vader resembles my vibrator? I do have this long black smooth one that I like quite a bit. Or maybe it’s these young hot men dueling with big light sabers that gets me going. Maybe it’s just the adventure and the excitement. Whatever it is I know I will be there on Thursday with a big bag of popcorn ready to be entertained.

Kisses,
Lynnea

Amateur Phone Sex with Lynnea

I like porn, so I like watching porn dvd’s and so forth. I just rented this wicked old film recently and found it to be something a bit different than your typical stuff. I thought I’d offer a little word of mouth advertising for it.

Cafe Flesh
The movie is dated roughly 1982 or so. The plot is that a nuclear apocalypse has hit the world and people become categorized into two different groups: The Sex Negatives and The Sex Positives.

The Sex Positives are actually the minority and they are forced to perform on stage live sex acts for all the Sex Negatives to watch them in complete frustration. The lead characters are a married couple that are Sex Negative… or so we think. But one of them is lying and debating whether nor not to admit to the truth.

The main themes involved in the story are frustration, betrayal, control, and inadequacy. All of the sex scenes are fairly brief and to the point while done with real looking people rather than perfect looking actors. It even contains some musical and dream like sequences.

This is a XXX feature but someone told me that you can also get an R Rated version that played to mainstream audiences back in the day. I’m not certain that is accurate info though. Of course I would recommend the XXX version… though it’s still not quite as hardcore as most other porn videos are. What made this film so cool to me was that it had a storyline beyond the pornography, and yet it’s a story that couldn’t be told in any other way. It made you THINK.

Sure it’s like any other tacky old 80’s movie, supposedly futuristic in a hilarious kind of way… but it’s also extremely artistic and creative. I don’t see it as the type of porn that’s going to turn you on to the point of masturbation because you’ll actually end up interested in the plot. How often can you say that about a dirty movie? You’ll want to watch it the whole way through in one sitting…. to absorb it.

I love the taste of a man’s cum. I always swallow sperm what can I say. Of course I am in a committed relationship and yes that does make a difference. I wanted to share a few reasons why I swallow cum, and why I like it.

1. It’s neater than spooging on a tissue or having to wipe it up!
2. It lets my man relax and just release without thinking or any worries.
3. It shows my man I totally accept him in every way.
4. There are no calories in a man’s spunk.
5. My boyfriends cum is sweet tasting probably due to his healthy lifestyle.
6. My boyfriend is a deep shooter; spraying it normally down my throat anyway… which means it’s very little effort for me to chug it down.

I actually read website that teach you all these different techniques to avoid the taste of cum. But I don’t mind it at all and really never did. I can only think of one sexual partner I had that had some bitter semen. Besides I think sex is about all of our senses.. that means I want to TASTE him as well. Plus the biggest reason of all to swallow my man’s load is because he likes it. I think sex is about pleasing your partner.. and I love it when he is happy because he reciprocates it by licking my pussy until I am happy too

I was exceptionally horny today. For no apparent reason. My boyfriend came over at about 10:30pm after I was done with my calls for the night. He is usually here all weekend, but he had to work Saturday from 9am-1pm as he was moving his office. So Normally I get a good morning bone, but not this week since he had to leave. I was disappointed but I distracted myself with chores. When my man got back from all the moving, he was sweaty. I love a sweaty manly man — but alas he was very tired so he went right into the shower. Again I felt cheated … so while I listened to the water run in my shower I whipped out my handy dandy vibrator. I removed my jeans and just slide my panties to the side and rubbed my puffy clit with the setting on high. Suffice to say I came in minutes — all before he was even done in the shower. The good news is I know he will fuck me soon; probably after dinner. Just thought I’d post this so that you naughty boys could read it fresh … just after I’ve cum.

My girlfriend and I have been best friends since before we were teenagers. When you first start to party and drink alcohol in high school, you can’t really handle the booze. So you act obnoxious, loud, and maybe even a little crazy. I’m grown up and older, past the age of the college constant partying. But put me, my best friend, and a pitcher of beer in a bar… and all hell breaks loose. Yes, it’s true, I admit it. When we go out together and start drinking we go right back into our crazy behavior just like we did in school. We flirt, we get loud, and we are for certain obnoxious. Sometimes we dance on pool tables, sometimes we spill beer all over ourselves, and sometimes we dance while grinding together. The next day we always talk on the phone to rehash what we did the night before. We can laugh for hours through our hangovers. But that’s what makes a Saturday night great isn’t it? Everyone needs a break and a good party once in a while! I’m going out tonight with her – and there is sure to be some trouble!

Ah the beach… I just returned from a week long excursion. Oh yes it was worth it. My boyfriend and I rented a beach house…. you just leer out the window and see the waves. I got a light golden tan, and the wind through my hair was excellent!

Of course this blog is really about sex… so let’s get to it! I had to experience sex on the beach for the first time. I was warned by many – that sand gets everywhere and obviously that’s common sense too. But I’ve got a few tips for those who want to do it like I did.

Find a private area. I also suggest the night time since less people will obviously be there. Under a pier is perfect. On my trip… we had our own private pier. Something to this effect is best since you know that no one else is using it, there is plenty of space, and it’s quiet.

Take multiple blankets! It’s not enough to just lay ONE down in the sand… you need a few BIG king sized blankets overlapping and making a huge wide area. Save one to cover up with unless you prefer to be arrested for public nudity.

Definitely get some type of WIPES that are not irritating to your nasty bits. You will probably need to use them several times before, during, and after sex. Keep sand out of the pussy and away from your asshole please…. it is extremely irritating to sensitive parts!

Take a big jug of water. You will get thirty, you may need to rinse some sand away, or even wash sand from your mouth as you are busy sucking and licking body parts that may have some sand. Trust me sand on your tongue is not as yummy as my girl juice is.

Take a normal shower after as soon as humanly possible too. Yes, there will still be sand in places you can’t imagine.

The missionary position is probably best – but mainly you need to think ahead and plan on being in one sex position the whole time. Switching positions only cause you to rumple up the blankets and sand.

Did I like fucking on the beach? Well “hell yeah”! Sex just about anywhere is always good hehe. It’s more of a romantic action rather than a “kinky” one because you must use more caution due to the sand. But I highly suggest it, at least once.

Now is that a title or what? Ok first of all let me say that I know for a fact that my horny morning Canadian man is reading this and I promised him some jackin’ material. So here it is baby. It will get your cock rock hard for our Monday morning call.

Ok I got a new bathing suit. That’s right. A bikini… in a very dark purple. I’m going to the beach the end of June, rented a huge house on a private beach somewhere down south (no pun intended). I’m going with my stud muffin boyfriend. I’ve now got a bikini in a different color for every day that we’ll be there. I didn’t buy all these bathing suits recently… some are actually older. I’m not a millionaire or something lol. Back to the nearly naked talk now…..

I want all horn dogs to begin the bone jack right now please. I’ll be wearing almost nothing, because this purple bikini is very tiny. The smallest one I’ve got. The top barely covers my nipples but it does cup my titties so very nicely. Yes, the bottoms are a thong… that pulls snuggly into my ass crack. This is my risque bathing suit. Sex on the Beach will not be just a mixed drink… it will be actually occurring for me I promise. See the boyfriend doesn’t know yet that I bought this hot skimpy little number… he’ll find out the day I put it on. He will like it I can assure you. I am hoping he will decide to fuck me in the sand. Sad to say it – I’ve never fucked on the beach. But it is my plan. I always have a plan.

Ah Valentine’s Day was so nice this year. I got pampered, spoiled, and taken out! I got the full body sexy massage in the morning when I woke up. After that sensual experience he fucked me and oh yes he did me quite good. Since it was early we decided to go to breakfast. I got a shower, didn’t put on much make up and pulled my hair back. When we got back he gave me my official Valentine’s Day gift — a pretty 14kt gold diamond necklace with earrings to match. I thanked him with more sex.

He took me shopping too that wonderful guy of mine. And at Victoria’s Secrets in the mall I got a pale pink sexy V-neck sweater and of course lingerie. At home again I had to shower after a 3rd round of fucking. I decided to wear my new sweater that night to dinner where we met up with some friends. It was a casual night out — and my sexy man gave me a dozen roses before we left. He was very full of surprises!

After our yummy dinner we went club hopping. This is a dangerous thing for me as I can drink far too much. Of course I did that. My guy is so great he didn’t even get mad when I was loud, crazy, and flirtatious with other guys at the bar. He can laugh it off since he knew I would be going home with him again for more sex.

the moral of this story is that presents will get you everywhere with a girl! Believe me — my sweet sugar lips got everywhere with me.

I am glad the holiday hustle is pretty much over now. I’m not much for that stuff. I mean I’ve got the family and friend celebrations, the boyfriend’s work holiday party, and so forth — but I have to be more conservative at those events. I think this time of year is more aimed at people who have kids and I don’t. I’m sure when I grow up and settle down more that I will enjoy it all better.

New Year’s Eve is a different story. A night where it is ok to party hard, to drink, and stay out all night…. NOW we’re talking my language. It’s true I am a party girl by nature and while I don’t drink all that often anymore — one night per year I make sure I DO get out of hand! And come on — if I had no exciting party life — would I have any good stories to tell otherwise? So here are my plans in case you are interested hehe.

I will wear a short semi-fitted black skirt with a slit on the right side and black stockings. underneath. I went clothes shopping recently and got new boots. They are knee high and fitted — sort of like go-go boots with a 3 inch heel and pointy toe. Absolutely perfect with a short skirt! Then I have this slim fitted lace camisole also in black which will be worn under a sheer silky black blouse. A little classy, and a little slutty since the top is sheer you can see the lingerie underneath. I also like the look of all black on a blonde so I will make sure my hair is pulled up a bit in front and snazzy.

I am going to dinner with my man and 2 other couples for some Italian food which is my favorite. After dinner there is a party with a gang of my friends. I prefer a party at someone’s house over a bar on New Years since the clubs get too crowded. The atmosphere at a party is always different - ANYTHING can happen at a party, and I like that environment best. Especially if you hang out with this friend I have named Tom. You add a little alcohol to him and bam instant idiot. But I love it because he will do just about anything to anyone at anytime. Wild is his key word and he always makes the party worthwhile.

Also my best girlfriend will be there too. This is the friend I grew up with this and basically she will get totally wasted and embarrass herself. Also fun for me to watch! Often our group of friends do not WANT to have both Tom and her together = because together they get more extreme, Since they will both be there tonight, I know it’s going to be good.

Now I also love sex after a good night of drinking. That’s the perfect end to the night. You can’t be too smashed mind you — but drunken sex is always more hard-core and animalistic. Maybe that’s the real reason I used to party a little too much? Could be, could be. So think of me tonight at about 2 or 3 am fucking my man’s brains out because that should be about the time that we are going at it. hehe

Sometimes I don’t wear panties. For instance if I am going out on a Saturday night with a tight little black skirt - I don’t like panty lines. But there are some things I notice more so if I am not wearing panties. The outer lips of my pussy end up slick and wet without the silky panty crotch absorbing all the juice. It can smear against my upper thighs when I sit down and when I cross my legs. Also I often worry that my warm drink will get onto the skirt … seeping through and showing everyone what a wet snatch I have in public. There’s an embarrassment involved … though it would also be rather sexy.

Sometimes knowing how wet I am can be a turn on, especially in public. It’s so exciting that sometimes while sitting and squirming in a chair a bit… I can send a short light mini orgasm into my pussy. It isn’t nearly as intense as a normal orgasm, and actually all it really does is make me want to get fucked more … but still I like that feeling of being super excited for extended periods of time. Also it gets me wetter of course, which results in more excitement. And the more excitement involved then the more my hips wiggle without any intentional choice. It can make the muscles in my thighs tighten. It can make me slide carefully rubbing my pussy on the bar stool as I get up from it. These things tend to increase as the night goes on.

My clit starts to get these really tingly good feelings. During regular sex of course the tingles run deeper inside, but in the situation I am describing it is a very specific area (my clit) that gets teased. Often I slip into the toilet stall and give it a flick or two for good measure, and to keep its activity up! By that point I can usually smell it with my skirt hiked up around my waist as well. I have intentionally dropped things while sitting down, that some gentleman has picked up for me and I wonder if he can smell me as his head passes my hips.

So you see there are good reasons for girls to wear panties. If I don’t I can find myself in some kind of “situation” shall we say … but then again tomorrow is Saturday night and I’ll be out. Should I wear panties or not? Who will I seduce?

Vibrators are much like cars in that every now and then — you must upgrade.

It is very possible to know someone’s personality from the car they drive … or in how they take care of it. I think the same is true for girls … you can tell a lot about them from the type of vibrator they use. Every girl has one, likes them, or wants one secretly. And if not, well we’re talking about a babe who is as cold as a refrigerator.

A vibrator is almost a girl’s best friend and if it’s not then it should be. Some girls like ‘em big, some girls like ‘em small, but all girls like them with multiple settings! I personally like the softee type since I am not as excited by shoving a hard cold plastic dick into my pussy! I like and prefer the real thing or to get a toy as close the real thing as possible. I’m not a pocket rocket girl - I want it big.

So off to the adult store we went! My best friend and me that is … we did a little shopping this week! And we do like to waltz in there wearing something sexy. It’s always fun because we are not the least bit shy — we get loud talking and laughing while comparing vibrators. The adult store we like is a SUPERSIZED adult store and its always busy. It’s where strippers can go to buy their outfits and you can even get some lingerie. Both the silky type and the edible type! The clerk knows us well.

As always our adult store adventures are to make sure that we grab a few new toys, but also we really are seeking attention from horny men. My friend is really the more embarrassing one waving and saying hello to every guy in there! She likes to make them blush, bump into them with her boobs, and then laughs real loud. I can only giggle the whole time and keep instigating her to do it again!